Following Toilet Roll Watch 2020

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  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 7 Mar 2020 09:22:32 25,562 posts
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    Thought it was maybe time to make a thread tracking the the toilet roll availability across the globe. My local Morrisons seemed OK on Friday. I picked up a 12 pack of Andrex quilted which should see me through the next 10 days or so.

    Remember guys, don't skimp on the quality. The end may be nigh but that's no excuse to allow your anus maintenance to fall by the wayside.
  • simpleexplodingmaybe 7 Mar 2020 09:25:58 13,959 posts
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    Morrisonís had loads on Thursday and so did Sainsburyís last night.

    I suspect that resources will be fine if the public donít act like twats
  • beastmaster 7 Mar 2020 09:29:03 20,909 posts
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    simpleexplodingmaybe wrote:
    Morrisonís had loads on Thursday and so did Sainsburyís last night.

    I suspect that resources will be fine if the public donít act like twats
    Donít you mean act like assholes?
  • Fab4 7 Mar 2020 09:32:30 8,923 posts
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    In my local Aldi, they seemed to have more toilet paper than normal.
  • Graxlar_v3 7 Mar 2020 09:43:42 10,212 posts
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    My wife managed to get TWO packs of Andrew quilted 9 rolls. I think we are sorted for the apocalypse.
  • Mola_Ram 7 Mar 2020 09:43:54 23,974 posts
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    You probably stole them all from Australia.
  • IRWATWO 7 Mar 2020 09:46:40 710 posts
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    I always have fucking loads of bogroll in. Then I don't have to remember I'm running out. Admittedly the 60 rolls of Andrex currently stored maybe overkill, but I've been housebound for 3 months, the siege mentality thing can really take over.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 7 Mar 2020 09:46:45 25,562 posts
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    Graxlar_v3 wrote:
    Andrew quilted
    Worst name for an Aldi knockoff ever.
  • Mola_Ram 7 Mar 2020 09:47:15 23,974 posts
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    This is serious business!

  • Graxlar_v3 7 Mar 2020 09:48:06 10,212 posts
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    Decks wrote:
    Graxlar_v3 wrote:
    Andrew quilted
    Worst name for an Aldi knockoff ever.
    I will leave it there, stupid phone!
  • Rum_Monkey 7 Mar 2020 09:57:39 958 posts
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    I use the wet wipes and the fools have all flocked to dry toilet paper allowing me to hoard the good shit.

    I look down on you peasants with my moist and clean anus.
  • mothercruncher 7 Mar 2020 10:06:15 17,828 posts
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    But a poop smeared bin?
  • Rum_Monkey 7 Mar 2020 10:08:43 958 posts
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    No, I poo into the toilet.
  • mothercruncher 7 Mar 2020 10:09:48 17,828 posts
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    Well, yes, but, oh- whatever Mr Poop Bin.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 7 Mar 2020 10:10:05 25,562 posts
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    You're not a wet wipe flusher are you? I hear that's actually worse than what Hitler did.
  • Rum_Monkey 7 Mar 2020 10:10:51 958 posts
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    They say flushable on the pack. Why would they lie to us?
  • Graxlar_v3 7 Mar 2020 10:12:29 10,212 posts
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    Rum_Monkey wrote:
    They say flushable on the pack. Why would they lie to us?
    You donít flush! It creates giant fat bergs and now we are evicting the people willing to destroy them it is going to murder our sewer system.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 7 Mar 2020 10:12:40 25,562 posts
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    You fatberg creating monster.
  • Rum_Monkey 7 Mar 2020 10:18:29 958 posts
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    Fatbergs covered in my shit.

    Excellent.
  • sport 7 Mar 2020 10:22:19 16,105 posts
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    I've never encountered a wet wipe that's flushable. But then I stick to value brands only.
  • Steve-Perry 7 Mar 2020 10:26:53 1,478 posts
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    I've got 3 seashells. Noobs.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 7 Mar 2020 10:35:58 25,562 posts
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    FYI guys, a few dabs of bepanthen dabbed directly onto the anus every few days will keep it absolutely pristine condition. I have the anus of a man half my age. (I keep it in my wallet)
  • neilka 7 Mar 2020 10:38:05 23,404 posts
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    Is this available on the Switch?
  • RobAnybody 7 Mar 2020 10:41:37 2,185 posts
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    I'm watching my toilet rolls and nothing is happening. What am I doing wrong?
  • smoothpete 7 Mar 2020 10:42:21 36,988 posts
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    Wet wipes say ďflushableĒ because itís physically possible to flush them, just as itís physically possible to flush hamsters, sawdust, bacon rind, wotsits, etc. But it doesnít indicate that itís a good idea, nor that itís safe to do so (itís not)
  • smoothpete 7 Mar 2020 10:43:36 36,988 posts
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    In other news, Asda are rationing hand wash liquid to 2 per customer. My missus was in there yesterday and some old bastard was trying to buy a whole basket of them.
  • EMarkM 7 Mar 2020 10:43:41 4,945 posts
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    Congleton Tesco: Whilst proceeding towards the venue in a northerly direction I observed a middle-aged gentleman sporting (I believe that is the term) a large package of toilet rolls.

    Upon entering the store it came to my attention that some toilet paper supplies remained, and in a variety of brands and specifications.

    In unrelated news, it was noticed that no large bags of rice were available.

    Upon joining the queue at the till I overheard the elderly lady in front of me inform the operative that she was buying toilet roll today ďin case I shit meself.Ē

    Edited by EMarkM at 10:44:28 07-03-2020
  • Dirt3 7 Mar 2020 10:54:34 1,037 posts
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    The way to play this is to thow the curved ball, which people always miss.

    Rather than the toilet roll, I will be seeking out a catering pack of imodium.

    I won't need the toilet roll for weeks.
  • drhickman1983 7 Mar 2020 10:58:32 6,856 posts
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    Housemate informed he's ordered a bulk load of 144 toilet rolls. Think we'll be okay.
  • RobAnybody 7 Mar 2020 11:00:55 2,185 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    Wet wipes say ďflushableĒ because itís physically possible to flush them, just as itís physically possible to flush hamsters, sawdust, bacon rind, wotsits, etc. But it doesnít indicate that itís a good idea, nor that itís safe to do so (itís not)
    Bunged up drains pretty much guaranteed, and if you have a septic tank you can anticipate a blockage and maybe even damage within days.
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