Working with filthy f**kers

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  • Steven-Huckle 18 Jun 2003 15:02:31 852 posts
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    After an incident today where some dirty bast pissed all over the toilet/wall/floor/seat etc... made me think how many of you lot have to put up with stuff like that. Not sure if it's someone from another company in the building though.

    It reminds me of a time at core when some fithy rotted dirty c**t decided to use a towel to wipe his arse and then just dump it on the floor by the radiator.


    /gags
  • Deleted user 18 June 2003 15:11:11
    We had that happen once, an engineer used our lav after doing something on one of the computers and absolutely covered the bowl, don't they teach kids how to aim any more?
  • lost_soul 18 Jun 2003 15:15:09 9,372 posts
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    People here are pretty bad with leaving skid marks, or floaters, not very nice, how much effort does it take to use the toilet brush to clean the bowl?

    By far the worst thing I've seen was when I was living in a hostel in Australia. On quite a few occasions people would walk into the mens toilets on one of the floors to find that some fucked up individual had wiped his own shit on the walls, sometimes attempting to make patterns.
  • FWB 18 Jun 2003 15:16:14 56,367 posts
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    I'm reading this whilst eating a chocolate bar. Do you know how sick it is making me feel?
  • Blerk Moderator 18 Jun 2003 15:17:25 48,222 posts
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    In the building we used to share with a variety of other companies, the walls of the cubicles were completely covered in crusty snot and bogeys.

    I mean, ffs - if you want to pick your nose then that's your choice. But you're sitting on the bog, next to a holder which contains a very large amount of tissue, and you still feel the need to wipe it on the f£cking wall?

    Also, I don't think I've ever seen a member of our sales or marketing teams wash their hands after using the toilets. Never shake hands with a salesman.
  • Deleted user 18 June 2003 15:24:49
    Blerk wrote:
    Never shake hands with a salesman.
    I already stuck to that particular ethos anyway, shake hands with a salesman and they assume you wan't their product, it's nice to get my paranoia confirmed from a different angle though.
  • renzo 18 Jun 2003 15:36:56 3,195 posts
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    Blerk wrote:Also, I don't think I've ever seen a member of our sales or marketing teams wash their hands after using the toilets. Never shake hands with a salesman.
    Same here. Is washing your hands after you take a piss not common practice these days?
  • UncleLou Moderator 18 Jun 2003 15:41:57 40,346 posts
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    I was in Athens once, late at night, and didn't have a hotel yet. Being a poor student at the time, I took the cheapest hotel there was, and it was much cheaper than my Athens travelbook suggested the cheapest hotel there would be. :-)

    Anyway, the room I had had the door and window to the patio, and the toilet was the next door. I went there, opened the door and then the toilet lid, only to discover it was full to the brim with shit. Really. Completely filled, like a big pot of chili. Needless to say I preferred to get a constipation.

    Edited by UncleLou at 14:42:38 18-06-2003
  • ssuellid 18 Jun 2003 15:43:38 19,141 posts
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    Somebody where I work leaves shit on the back of the bog seat. Hardly anyone washes their hands. Worst place I have worked in but in my previous company there was a bloke who used to talk on his mobile whilst having a dump - complete with 'excuse me a sec' as he squeezed one out.
  • Killerbee 18 Jun 2003 15:45:55 5,080 posts
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    The same thing applies to those little bowls of free peanuts and nibbles they have in some pubs. Guaranteed to be coated in beer, piss, smoke and quite probably even a number of different kinds of semen, they should not be touched no matter how hungry you are.

    The worst thing we have to put up with is the smell wafting around the office when someone has taken a shite. Personally I try to have all my poos at home. It's just a bit more considerate, don't you think?
  • renzo 18 Jun 2003 15:51:57 3,195 posts
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    LOL!! STOP! I can't take it anymore! oooh my aching sides!

    I've gotta admit, at first this thread was making me sick, but reading a lil further I burst out laughing. Uncle Lou's "Completely filled, like a big pot of chili" analogy had me cracking up, as did ssuellid's "Worst place I have worked in but in my previous company there was a bloke who used to talk on his mobile whilst having a dump - complete with 'excuse me a sec' as he squeezed one out." story.

    "The worst thing we have to put up with is the smell wafting around the office when someone has taken a shite. Personally I try to have all my poos at home. It's just a bit more considerate, don't you think?" - Totally agree.

    Thanx for the laughs gents... much appreciated :)
  • Blerk Moderator 18 Jun 2003 15:52:26 48,222 posts
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    Personally I try to have all my poos at home. It's just a bit more considerate, don't you think?

    No way! You get paid for taking a dump at work. :-)
  • CerealKey 18 Jun 2003 15:55:16 2,860 posts
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    Didn't otto once say that he played his GBA on the loo?
  • Steven-Huckle 18 Jun 2003 15:56:09 852 posts
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    I had an odd experience the other day when I went to the toilet and in there was a woman putting on her make-up. Strange thing it that we both said "Hi how's it going?". It was only after i'd shut the door on the cubical did I realise what whas happening.
    Needless to say I couldn't go.
  • Blerk Moderator 18 Jun 2003 15:58:05 48,222 posts
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    We once had the police over to our old building because one of the elderly caretakers had walked into the gents one evening to find a couple 'going at it' in one of the cubicles. They promptly legged it, 'trousers around ankles' stylee, not realising they'd been caught both on the way in and on the way out by the security cameras. No idea if they ever caught them or not!
  • Killerbee 18 Jun 2003 16:04:04 5,080 posts
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    Steven Huckle wrote:
    I had an odd experience the other day when I went to the toilet and in there was a woman putting on her make-up. Strange thing it that we both said "Hi how's it going?". It was only after i'd shut the door on the cubical did I realise what whas happening.
    Needless to say I couldn't go.
    That kind of thing regularly used to happen at Uni on a Firday/Saturday night. The Ladies was always full, so the girls would come and use the Gents. It was always a bit unnerving to walk in there and see a bunch of women doing their makeup/hair - makes you think you're the one who's made a mistake...

    Funniest thing I've ever witnessed in a gents was a 10(ish) year old lad trying to figure out why the hand dryer machine wasn't working. He was standing there for a good minute or two pressing the button, hitting it on the side, but nothing happened. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a condom machine and he should try the one on the opposite wall. :)

    Edited by Killerbee at 15:04:48 18-06-2003
  • pjmaybe 18 Jun 2003 16:12:43 70,666 posts
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    You don't even wanna get me started on loo shenanigans.

    1) Horrible oik from upstairs goes in there for a regular 10.30 am wank. Makes no secret about it. Everyone knows to avoid the gents loo on level 6 at that time.

    2) Was once at the urinal doing what you do, Head of Department walks in, stands at the urinal next to me and lets off the most rip-roaringest fart I've ever heard (possibly with some amount of follow through) - I naturally laughed. The week after I was made to go and work in one of our buildings dubbed "The leper colony"

    3) Our loos have so much grafitti on the walls you'd think they were painted biro blue.

    Peej
  • Killerbee 18 Jun 2003 16:20:17 5,080 posts
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    I hate it when old people fart - you never know whether to call them a 'dirty old bastard' or whether you should actually feel sorry for the fact that their anal sphincter has just given way and they really couldn't help it.

    I've a feeling that some old people do it deliberately knowing that no one would ever dare have a go at them.

    Why does it always smell of cabbages when they get to that age too?
  • AnotherMartin 18 Jun 2003 16:21:16 6,229 posts
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    Floaters are the ones that get me. There's one anoying git here who never flushes properly. Don't people realise that for about 20 years (or more?) a lot of toilets work on the two flush system. Push and let go for a small flush, push and hold for a full flush. Mainly introduced for ecological reasons. The scary thing is that there's never any paper left behind, though I'm hoping that's just coincedence.

    We also once had an engineer who stank so much his boss once got him a can of deodarant at lunch time and left it on his desk with a post it note saying 'use this'.

    And for some strange reason I have a thing about hand driers, I'm always assesing them and really apreciate a good one. I always get strange looks from my friends if I mention a particularly good one after a visit to the loo's. But I get my own back as 99.9% of the time they've already been to the loo and say to me 'really, i didn't notice'. Meaning they didn't wash their hands the dirty bastards.
  • Dirtbox 18 Jun 2003 16:22:06 92,079 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Killerbee 18 Jun 2003 16:29:49 5,080 posts
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    Dirtbox wrote:
    I hate people who ask if they can wank in your hair. dirty cnuts.
    Does that happen to you often?
  • Deleted user 18 June 2003 16:33:46
    Dirtbox wrote:
    I hate people who ask if they can wank in your hair. dirty cnuts.
    I believe it is referred to as a Ken Dodding.
  • pistol 18 Jun 2003 16:36:22 13,018 posts
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    Blerk wrote:
    Personally I try to have all my poos at home. It's just a bit more considerate, don't you think?

    No way! You get paid for taking a dump at work. :-)

    When it arrives, it arrives and there's no stoppin it:)
  • Killerbee 18 Jun 2003 16:44:09 5,080 posts
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    Errol wrote:
    Yes but you can train your bowel movements to coincide with home time.
    Exactly. I tend to have mine after my evening meal. Very satisfactory way to round it off imho.
  • renzo 18 Jun 2003 16:47:27 3,195 posts
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    Errol wrote:
    Yes but you can train your bowel movements to coincide with home time.
    Problem is not everyone is that considerate. They'd rather stink up the work toilets than desecrate their precious loos at home.

    I believe it is referred to as a Ken Dodding.

    Hmmm.. interesting. Thats the first time I've ever heard that term used. 'Ken Dodding'.. any explanation on why it's called that?
  • Deleted user 18 June 2003 16:51:35
    renzo wrote:
    Hmmm.. interesting. Thats the first time I've ever heard that term used. 'Ken Dodding'.. any explanation on why it's called that?
    Because in the morning ones hair looks like Ken Dodd's or something like that anyway.
  • lost_soul 18 Jun 2003 16:55:00 9,372 posts
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    I steal bog role from work, I'm too cheap to buy my own!
    This should probably have gone in the confessions thread, but fcuk it.
  • lost_soul 18 Jun 2003 16:59:25 9,372 posts
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    otto wrote:
    Imagine my dismay when I checked my phone after a particularly strenuous visit to the bog to see that my mobile had been speaking to my mate's answer machine for the duration... D-%
    How embarrassing would it be if that happened whilst you were having a wank??!
    "Please leave your name and number after the tone...BEEP...fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap, uhhhhh........zzzziiipppp"
  • Deleted user 18 June 2003 17:04:54
    lost_soul wrote:
    fcuk it.
    Just out of interest, why have you typed fcuk it, I'm not into all that French Connection stuff myself ;)
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