One Star Review

  • sam_spade 23 Oct 2005 17:14:41 15,745 posts
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    A selection of one-star reviews from Amazon

    I have to agree with the Gravity's Rainbow review.
  • Retroid Moderator 23 Oct 2005 17:24:23 45,464 posts
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    Lord of the Flies (1955)

    Author: William Golding

    “I am obsessed with Survivor, so I thought it would be fun. WRONG!!! It is incredibly boring and disgusting. I was very much disturbed when I found young children killing each other. I think that anyone with a conscience would agree with me.”
    O_o;;
  • UncleLou Moderator 23 Oct 2005 17:27:48 40,158 posts
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    6) Also, to sum it up, it’s a story about a pedophile.”

    Way to miss the point. :D
  • Deleted user 23 October 2005 17:30:54
    "In the first 20 pages, Alex and his lackies beat a guy senseless and rob him; they steal a car and trash it, they get into a vicious gang fight; they attack a couple at their home, destroy the husband’s life work (his book, A Clockwork Orange), beat him and his wife senseless, and rape the wife. This really ticked me off."

    Hehehe.
  • Retroid Moderator 23 Oct 2005 17:39:31 45,464 posts
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    Gone With the Wind (1936)

    Author: Margaret Mitchell

    "Well, it's a girl's world. The world of Gloria Steinem and the popular feminism, as distilled on TV (including CBC shows, not all fundamentalist Hollywood garbage) of my youth is GONE. Now the girls run the show. You're not allowed to call them sluts. And it's impossible to call them virgins. They're all doing Rhett Butler. So what are they? Idiots... Hope you like the Gangstas. It's what you deserve."
    :D

    Edited by Retroid at 17:43:57 23-10-2005
  • Deleted user 23 October 2005 20:29:29
    One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1962)

    Author: Ken Kesey

    “I guess if you were interested in crazy people this is the book for you.”

    Heh heh.
  • Shadrach 23 Oct 2005 20:36:06 1,878 posts
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    Oh shit, is Gravitys Rainbow not good then? I've just started it, but I've been tired everytime I've started reading it and find myself falling asleep after a few pages. Which I'm starting to realise is a not a good thing with this book as I'm a hundred or so pages in and still don't really get what's going on...
  • The-Old-Bill 23 Oct 2005 20:42:46 5,101 posts
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    The Lord of the Rings (1954)

    Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

    “The book is not readable because of the overuse of adverbs.”
    :D

    Made me laugh-out-loud.
  • Deleted user 23 October 2005 20:52:21
    The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (1950)

    Author: C.S. Lewis

    “I bought these books to have something nice to read to my grandkids. I had to stop, however, because the books are nothing more than advertisements for “Turkish Delight,” a candy popular in the U.K. The whole point of buying books for my grandkids was to give them a break from advertising, and here (throughout) are ads for this “Turkish Delight”! How much money is this Mr. Lewis getting from the Cadbury’s chocolate company anyway? This man must be laughing to the bank.”

    LOL!!

    edit: Must type faster.

    Edited by deathgibbon at 20:56:11 23-10-2005
  • Deleted user 23 October 2005 20:55:43
    The Confessions of Nat Turner (1967)

    Author: William Styron

    “My great-great-grandfather is not gay! I don’t know why this William Styron is trying to lie on my great-great-grandfather. Needless to say I am a descendant of Nat Turner and it bothers me that this author is trying to lie to make this book more interesting. I cannot say for certainty that my grandfather was not gay or that he didn’t like white women and neither can this author but I can say that Nat Turner was married and had children and I am a descendant of that union! Other than that idiotic portrayal the book was good.”

    o_O
  • MikeD 23 Oct 2005 20:57:01 10,063 posts
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    They're not very wrong about 'the sun also rises' actually. :-)



    Edited by MikeD at 21:00:53 23-10-2005
  • mrharvest 23 Oct 2005 21:18:33 5,599 posts
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    MikeD wrote:
    They're not very wrong about 'the sun also rises' actually. :-)

    I had to write that down to my notebook. I'll read it out in my next workshop for a few laughs. :)
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 23 Oct 2005 21:30:21 47,499 posts
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    Mrs. Dalloway (1925)

    Author: Virginia Woolf

    “The only good thing to say about this “literary” drivel is that the person responsible, Virginia Woolf, has been dead for quite some time now. Let us pray to God she stays that way.”

    Ooooooh BURN!

    That page is a fantastic find.
  • Deleted user 23 October 2005 21:30:42
    LOL! Some awesome views there :)

    Edited by urizen at 21:35:32 23-10-2005
  • Deleted user 23 October 2005 21:40:22
    Heh. Some of them are actually funnier because they're spot on e.g.

    The Sun Also Rises (1926)

    Author: Ernest Hemingway

    “Here’s the first half of the book: ‘We had dinner and a few drinks. We went to a cafe and talked and had some drinks. We ate dinner and had a few drinks. Dinner. Drinks. More dinner. More drinks. We took a cab here (or there) in Paris and had some drinks, and maybe we danced and flirted and talked sh*t about somebody. More dinner. More drinks. I love you, I hate you, maybe you should come up to my room, no you can’t’… I flipped through the second half of the book a day or two later and saw the words ‘dinner’ and ‘drinks’ on nearly every page and figured it wasn’t worth the risk.”
  • otto Moderator 28 May 2007 11:16:19 49,322 posts
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    The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (1950)

    Author: C.S. Lewis

    “I bought these books to have something nice to read to my grandkids. I had to stop, however, because the books are nothing more than advertisements for “Turkish Delight,” a candy popular in the U.K. The whole point of buying books for my grandkids was to give them a break from advertising, and here (throughout) are ads for this “Turkish Delight”! How much money is this Mr. Lewis getting from the Cadbury’s chocolate company anyway? This man must be laughing to the bank.”
    stop stop this is killing me

    /wipes away tears
  • otto Moderator 28 May 2007 11:16:19 49,322 posts
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    This is an absolute gem, sam, I haven't laughed this much in ages.
  • otto Moderator 28 May 2007 11:16:19 49,322 posts
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    My God, some of them bear a disturbing similarity to some of the threads on here. :o

    'Native Son' for example - or '1984' ("This book isn’t as good as Harry Potter in MY opinion, and no one can refute me. Tastes are relative!")...
  • otto Moderator 28 May 2007 11:16:19 49,322 posts
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    “This book is one of the worst books I have ever read. I got to about page 3-4.”

    Astounding.
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