The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards 2005!! Page 3

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  • Dude_90 23 Nov 2007 21:23:34 123 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    Or the dick-shatteringly limp inducing

    "Have you farted?"

    "No!"

    "Oh it must be your breath then..."


    Peej

    lmfao
  • CosmicFuzz 23 Nov 2007 21:46:50 32,585 posts
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    Oh sweet god I think I laughed up a lung :D

    /zorro
  • Idoru 23 Nov 2007 23:27:12 368 posts
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    Pretty dire, but I'm afraid all of them pale into insignificance compare to this literary gem from Charlie Stross 's Accelerando:

    "Afterward, she reaches down and massages him until he begins to spasm, shuddering uncontrollably, emptying the Darwinian river of his source code into her, communicating via his only output device"

    Ooh yeah baby, talk geek to me..
  • sam_spade 26 Nov 2007 21:01:11 15,745 posts
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    "She felt the cylinder rod of his plunger. "

    LOL
  • BanjoMan 27 Nov 2007 09:22:15 13,692 posts
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    Idoru wrote:
    Pretty dire, but I'm afraid all of them pale into insignificance compare to this literary gem from Charlie Stross 's Accelerando:

    "Afterward, she reaches down and massages him until he begins to spasm, shuddering uncontrollably, emptying the Darwinian river of his source code into her, communicating via his only output device"

    Ooh yeah baby, talk geek to me..
    Worked for me

    /lights cigarette

    "He plugged his massive 2GB memory stick into her rear access port, and transferred his files straight up her root folder..."
  • Murbs 27 Nov 2007 09:46:39 24,974 posts
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    First time I've read this thread and I'm getting peculiar looks from the office ;-)
  • pjmaybe 27 Nov 2007 09:56:14 70,666 posts
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    BanjoMan wrote:
    Idoru wrote:
    Pretty dire, but I'm afraid all of them pale into insignificance compare to this literary gem from Charlie Stross 's Accelerando:

    "Afterward, she reaches down and massages him until he begins to spasm, shuddering uncontrollably, emptying the Darwinian river of his source code into her, communicating via his only output device"

    Ooh yeah baby, talk geek to me..
    Worked for me

    /lights cigarette

    "He plugged his massive 2GB memory stick into her rear access port, and transferred his files straight up her root folder..."

    GLOL!

    Peej
  • jonsaan 27 Nov 2007 11:03:22 27,052 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    boabg wrote:
    That Irvine Welsh one was ok I thought. But then again I've read a load of his other stuff and I know his style.

    Yep that's pretty tame in comparison to the scene where Renton porks his brother's pregnant girlfriend in a toilet in Trainspotting.

    Peej

    Up the ass as I recall.
  • pjmaybe 27 Nov 2007 11:04:39 70,666 posts
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    Nup up the fanny, but there was a lot of mental shit about him getting a BJ off the foetus.

    /pukes

    Peej
  • jonsaan 27 Nov 2007 11:06:30 27,052 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    Nup up the fanny, but there was a lot of mental shit about him getting a BJ off the foetus.

    /pukes

    Peej

    Good Gawd.
  • Salaman 5 Dec 2014 10:08:09 23,953 posts
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    BUMP

    When his hand brushed her nipple it tripped a switch and she came alight. He touched her belly and his hand seemed to burn through her. He lavished on her body indirect touches and bitter-sweet sensations flooded her brain.

    She became aware of places in her that could only have been concealed there by a god with a sense of humour. Adrift on warm currents, no longer of this world, she became aware of him gliding into her. He loved her with gentleness and strength, stroking her neck, praising her face with his hands, till she was broken up and began a low rhythmic wail. She was a little overwhelmed with being the adored focus of such power, as he rose and fell. She felt certain now that there was a heaven and that it was here, in her body. The universe was in her and with each movement it unfolded to her.

    Somewhere in the night a stray rocket went off.



    "Somewhere in the night a stray rocket went off" has a nice ring to it but I think it pales compared to the 2005 masterstroke (fnar)

    "she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro."
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