What if a gamer designed it ? • Non-Gaming • Travel • Eurogamer.net

silver-jon 7 Dec 2005 12:28:59 1,518 posts
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I was on a bus this morning.
I noticed a sign on the window that said "In case of emergency, break glass with hammer".

My brain immediately wondered where the hammer might be (or, indeed whether everyone else in London carries a hammer around with them but I'm not in on the secret).

The hammer was clipped behind plastic glass (surely "plastic glass" can't exist) above the window.

But then I wondered how different it would be if a gamer had designed the bus. The hammer would be behind the plasma-rifle wielding Ork towards the front of the bus. Or it would be in a cupboard in a building you left about 20 minutes ago so you'd have to traipse all the way back to fetch the hammer. And then your inventory would be full so you'd have to drop your binoculars.

Oh - and the bus would be on rails. So it'd be a tram.

Any other ideas about how the real world could be changed if it were designed by gamers or game-developers ?

PS: There's not a category for stupid waste of time, so "Travel" it is.

morriss 7 Dec 2005 12:31:30 71,293 posts
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Floating paving stones - you'd have to jump from stone to stone, but you could only stand on them for a limited time before you fall down a hole that leads straight back to your front garden where you would you try again.

Edited by morriss at 12:32:04 07-12-2005

smoothpete 7 Dec 2005 12:32:43 37,743 posts
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Funerals would be bizarre

Respawn in

3

2

1

...

Spanky 7 Dec 2005 12:35:53 15,037 posts
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All paintings on walls would be cast off concept art for human design by god.

*edit Or for that matter bikini girls with machine guns, seems to be the norm.

Edited by Spanky at 12:36:32 07-12-2005

smoothpete 7 Dec 2005 12:36:02 37,743 posts
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Soldiers would be equipped with 3 pistols, an SMG, an assault rifle, a sniper rifle, a shotgun, 5 grenades, a rocket launcher, and 1000 bullets. But no visible means of carrying them

GrandTheftApu 7 Dec 2005 12:40:00 6,117 posts
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Doctors and hospitals would be redundant, if you weren't feeling well you would just need to hunt around for a health pack.

RichDC 7 Dec 2005 12:40:02 9,177 posts
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You could take the full impact of any attack e.g. punch/kick/sword and not get hurt simply by putting your arms up and leaning back slightly.

Edited by Megapocalypse at 12:41:23 07-12-2005

smoothpete 7 Dec 2005 12:41:12 37,743 posts
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The success or failure of all difficult life tasks would be reduced to timed button presses

"Shit, I need to close this deal! Up up down down left right left right B A. Yay! Did it!"

morriss 7 Dec 2005 12:43:03 71,293 posts
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The more bad things you did, the more you would appear more evil.

oh wait...

Juninho 7 Dec 2005 12:43:33 1,825 posts
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GrandTheftApu wrote:
Doctors and hospitals would be redundant, if you weren't feeling well you would just need to hunt around for a health pack.

world war 2 would have been won by germany who simply decided to "have a bit of a tidy up"

Deleted user 7 December 2005 12:43:42

GrandTheftApu wrote:
Doctors and hospitals would be redundant, if you weren't feeling well you would just need to hunt around for a health pack.

Or just stand/crouch behind some cover for a short period of time.

Erm, every other door in the world is locked and you can't break any walls no even if you attack them with a rocket launcher.

Edited by Mr Sleep at 12:44:54 07-12-2005

sam_spade 7 Dec 2005 12:46:33 15,745 posts
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There'd always be a crate whenever you needed one, also the crate would contain exactly what you needed.

souljah 7 Dec 2005 12:46:35 4,705 posts
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You could go into a shop and buy a mars bar but use bullet time to grap some fags behind the shop keeper without him knowing.

itamae 7 Dec 2005 12:46:52 10,213 posts
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Every computer password could be figured out by looking around the room for five minutes.

Every important item would be split into seven parts, which have been stored away in hard to reach dungeons and are guarded by a boss monster.

smoothpete 7 Dec 2005 12:46:53 37,743 posts
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It would be even more difficult to get a plumber at short notice, they'd be off bouncing on tortoises

smoothpete 7 Dec 2005 12:48:04 37,743 posts
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There'd be no afterlife, just an ending sequence

Deleted user 7 December 2005 12:48:26

I also forgot to add that those doors also seem to be of lower quality than normal doors and there isn't actually a method unlocking them even if you wanted to.

People aren't able to see for more than a ninty degree angle and will always walk in exactly the same pattern.

Mike_Hunt 7 Dec 2005 12:48:39 23,524 posts
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Chatting up women would be cool though wouldn't it?

/quicksave

Hi, I bet you're a gemini?

No! Now sod off.

/quickload

Hi, I bet you're a leo?

No! Now sod off.

/quickload

Hi, I bet you're a capricorn?

Why yes. Please escort me to the nearest bedroom and make sweet, passionate monkey love to me all night long.

[MH]

morriss 7 Dec 2005 12:49:24 71,293 posts
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Mike_Hunt wrote:

Chatting up women would be cool though wouldn't it?

/quicksave

Hi, I bet you're a gemini?

No! Now sod off.

/quickload

Hi, I bet you're a leo?

No! Now sod off.

/quickload

Hi, I bet you're a capricorn?

Why yes. Please escort me to the nearest bedroom and make sweet, passionate monkey love to me all night long.

[MH]

monkey love?

souljah 7 Dec 2005 12:51:50 4,705 posts
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Mike_Hunt wrote:

Chatting up women would be cool though wouldn't it?

/quicksave

Hi, I bet you're a gemini?

No! Now sod off.

/quickload

Hi, I bet you're a leo?

No! Now sod off.

/quickload

Hi, I bet you're a capricorn?

Why yes. Please escort me to the nearest bedroom and make sweet, passionate monkey love to me all night long.

[MH]

Even then though its back to triangle R1 R1 R2 L2 circle up up up up up up and light her cigarette for her.

Mike_Hunt 7 Dec 2005 12:52:34 23,524 posts
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It's a special postion. On top, perched on toes, crouched over, leaning forward on fingers, arse bobbing up and down rapidly.

Throw in a banana for extra excitement.

[MH]

morriss 7 Dec 2005 12:53:06 71,293 posts
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Mike_Hunt wrote:
It's a special postion. On top, perched on toes, crouched over, leaning forward on fingers, arse bobbing up and down rapidly.

Throw in a banana for extra excitement.

[MH]

/scibbles furiously

Cheers Mike

sam_spade 7 Dec 2005 12:53:32 15,745 posts
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You could blame you lack of lovemaking prowess on low PING.

Whizzo 7 Dec 2005 12:53:54 44,810 posts
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Weapons would float in mid-air and rotate.

Funeral directors would be out of a job as any bodies would just vanish after a short wait.

There'd be no need for car mechanics too, slamming a car into wall would either not damage it or likely have no effect on the car's performance.

You couldn't pick up a piece of equipment and try to work out how to use it until you'd somehow levelled high enough.

Juninho 7 Dec 2005 12:54:00 1,825 posts
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Mike_Hunt wrote:
It's a special postion. On top, perched on toes, crouched over, leaning forward on fingers, arse bobbing up and down rapidly.

Throw in a banana for extra excitement.

[MH]

letting her eat fleas off your chest hair optional

smoothpete 7 Dec 2005 12:54:24 37,743 posts
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Nice views would be obscured by fogging, and it would be impossible to navigate by landmarks due to pop up

Mike_Hunt 7 Dec 2005 12:54:51 23,524 posts
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souljah wrote:
Even then though its back to triangle R1 R1 R2 L2 circle up up up up up up and light her cigarette for her.

Heh, and women who wanted to stimulate us fellas, well they'd just have to:

Press Y.

Press Y.

Press Y again.

Press Y fairly quickly.

Press Y slowly.

Press Y with a twist.

Press Y.

Press Y some more.

Press X to clean up.

[MH]

sam_spade 7 Dec 2005 12:55:24 15,745 posts
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Whizzo wrote:
There'd be no need for car mechanics too, slamming a car into wall would either not damage it or likely have no effect on the car's performance.

Alternatively, it might just burst into flames.

Spanky 7 Dec 2005 12:55:35 15,037 posts
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Mike_Hunt wrote:
It's a special postion. On top, perched on toes, crouched over, leaning forward on fingers, arse bobbing up and down rapidly.

Sounds like a teabagging manouver? Sam Fisher rocks at stealth teabagging!

/splitjump!

gang_of_bitches 7 Dec 2005 12:56:36 5,707 posts
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Everyone would go around saying "I blame these game developers for the world's ills" even more than they do currently.