| If they come to the door I usually tell them to fuck off, I'm not interested. |
Favourite method of dealing with cold sales calls (phone or doorstep) • Page 3
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brokenkey 11,128 posts
Seen 11 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoI just had HSBC on the phone trying to sell me Bank Account Plus (£12.50 per month). Apparently I'd get an extra £200 per year interest across all my savings accounts if I did because they all get a preferential rate .
I pointed out to them that I'd lose 40% of that as tax, so I'd end up being £120 up for interest, but then £150 worse off because of the monthly fee, therefore I'd be overall worse off. -
TechnoHippy 19,245 posts
Seen 3 weeks ago
Registered 18 years agoA friend of mine used to enjoy chatting with cold callers and telesales and wind them up. He did it once, answered the phone in tears, saying that such and such couldn't come to the phone as they had recently died. Unfortunetly it was his bank that had called and they immediatly froze his account .gif)
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LockeTribal 4,740 posts
Seen 8 hours ago
Registered 14 years agoI always just say whoever they're looking for isn't in at the minute and I have no idea when they'll be back.
Saves a lot of hassle and usually gets them off the phone pretty quick. -
There's a web thing somewhere when the cold caller phones up and the guy answers pretending to be a detective on a murder investigation.
That was awesome. -
souljah 4,705 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 17 years agoIn a period of desperation, I had to work cold-calling selling Sky TV. It was the most soul destroying job ever. I lasted about a week and my selling technique went like this.
"Hi Mr X, have you got Sky TV?"
"No I don't."
"Would you be interested?"
"No thanks." (or "fuck off")
"Ah no worries. Sorry for bothering you." -
RevanEleven 2,076 posts
Seen 5 years ago
Registered 15 years agoI was interrupted playing Halo3 by a window seller knocking at the door, I simply opened the door with a perturbed look in my face, just as he was about to launch into his sales spiel I simply closed the door - not slammed - closed quite gently, whilst keeping eye contact with him until the door was completely closed, then stood behind the door looking through the window at him until he left. Fucking spun him right out. -
Killerbee 5,251 posts
Seen 9 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoThe ones that I find most amusing are those that ring up and say something like:
"Would you like a free holiday to the Carribean!?"
"No."
Kills the call stone dead because they don't have that option on their script!.gif)
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RevanEleven wrote:
I was interrupted playing Halo3 by a window seller knocking at the door, I simply opened the door with a perturbed look in my face, just as he was about to launch into his sales spiel I simply closed the door - not slammed - closed quite gently, whilst keeping eye contact with him until the door was completely closed, then stood behind the door looking through the window at him until he left. Fucking spun him right out.
gLOL -
Xerx3s 23,970 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agoSaying "Oh how interesting, tell me more" and then putting the phone down and returning ten minutes later to see if they got the message usually works.
Or shouting "could you repeat that please, I can't hear you!" at everything she says is fun as well. -
Killerbee 5,251 posts
Seen 9 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoActually, it's been a while now since I had anyone come to the door selling stuff and I'm registered with the telephone preference service, so very few people call up.
The people that annoy me the most are the clipboard wielding charity standing order peons who litter the high street. I've noticed their latest tactic is to stop you by cheerily saying hello and offering a hand to shake - it makes you feel really quite rude and uncomfortable to just walk past them and ignore the gesture.
I've developed a new sport that involves dodging your way down New Street in Birmingham without getting collared by one of these people or a Big Issue salesperson. It's actually pretty tough to do. -
MrSensible 26,517 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 16 years agoRevanEleven wrote:
I was interrupted playing Halo3 by a window seller knocking at the door, I simply opened the door with a perturbed look in my face, just as he was about to launch into his sales spiel I simply closed the door - not slammed - closed quite gently, whilst keeping eye contact with him until the door was completely closed, then stood behind the door looking through the window at him until he left. Fucking spun him right out.
Definitely trying this one next time
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Personal Rape Alarm + Phone = Tinnitus for annoying salesperson 
Or, why not flip it right back at them? Try this:
Salesman: 'Hello, is that Mr Peej? Can I interest you in a great deal we're currently offering on new windows for your home?'
PJ: 'No. However, can I interest you in... the wisdom of our Lord Jesus Christ/the Encyclopedia Brittanica/a timeshare apartment in the Algarve etc...'
Might just work?
EDIT: Machiavel and I think alike
Oh yeah, damn those charity clipboard guys who just put a different t-shirt on each week and then pester me to donate to a new charity. I already donate to a charity of my choice, and I don't want to shake your sodding hand - I'm not your friend, buddy (I'm not your buddy, guy...). They seem to be nesting in Oxford for the summer this year
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Mageme 2,330 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 15 years agoKillerbee wrote:
The people that annoy me the most are the clipboard wielding charity standing order peons who litter the high street. I've noticed their latest tactic is to stop you by cheerily saying hello and offering a hand to shake - it makes you feel really quite rude and uncomfortable to just walk past them and ignore the gesture.
I tend to avoid eye contact where possible or give them a polite smile and walk by. If collared, I just say I already give to their charity via gift aid from work.
EDIT: which I do do by the way (albeit occasionally), before you think I'm a heartless lying bastard. -
Xerx3s 23,970 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agoNemesis wrote:
Whilst up at Homebase the other day, the doubleglazing salesman tapped the top of my sons head with a paper brochure as a humourous way of getting our attention.
I almost smacked that fucker into next week, you've never seen a)me so mad - I'd probably turned red in anger or b) someone backpedal so fast there was smoke coming from his feet.
Fucker.
I don't like salesmen. Full stop. I don't like 'em on the 'phone, I don't like em at my door (which doesn't happen now I'm in a secluded flat) and I certainly don't like 'em in stores. If one more cunt tries to sell me extended warranty they'll be blood and it won't be mine.
Just. Don't. Get. Me. Started.
Oh I love those! They go like: "Pay this to get two years of guarantee" and I'll start the whole "those years are on top of the years provided by law i assume" routine. -
Xerx3s 23,970 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agoPost deleted -
TechnoHippy 19,245 posts
Seen 3 weeks ago
Registered 18 years agoboabg wrote:
There's a web thing somewhere when the cold caller phones up and the guy answers pretending to be a detective on a murder investigation.
That was awesome.
I think you mean this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1waHJhb2wxo -
Techno Hippy wrote:
boabg wrote:
There's a web thing somewhere when the cold caller phones up and the guy answers pretending to be a detective on a murder investigation.
That was awesome.
I think you mean this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1waHJhb2wxo
That's the one! -
Xerx3s 23,970 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agoKillerbee wrote:
Actually, it's been a while now since I had anyone come to the door selling stuff and I'm registered with the telephone preference service, so very few people call up.
The people that annoy me the most are the clipboard wielding charity standing order peons who litter the high street. I've noticed their latest tactic is to stop you by cheerily saying hello and offering a hand to shake - it makes you feel really quite rude and uncomfortable to just walk past them and ignore the gesture.
I've developed a new sport that involves dodging your way down New Street in Birmingham without getting collared by one of these people or a Big Issue salesperson. It's actually pretty tough to do.
No problem with staring stonecold at them when I walk by.
Unless it is one of those 'it will cost you nothing people', I just love to ask them questions about the payment structure until they have to admit that in the end you always pay. -
Brodie 243 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoSimilar theme but not entirely the same -
The pub my wife and her workmates drink at on Friday night has a charity raffle every week, so naturally there's some earnest do-gooder harassing you while you're trying to enjoy a drink.
The girls all but tickets but I'm not bothered - guy gives me the hard sell about what he is supporting, I tell him I'm fully aware, just don't want to buy a ticket.
He then gives me 3 for free, to try and shame me into coughing up. I don't shame easily, so he gets no cash.
I precede to win a prize, and claim it.
HAH!
*is going to hell* -
Xerx3s 23,970 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agoI make a point of it to blacklist any charity that begs me for money. a) causes that are actually worth spending money on (i.e. cancer research) should be done by the government. b) it turns out that most money isn't going where it should be. c) if I donate, I will do so at my own will and at the time of my choosing. d) most causes here are funded by the government, I don't see why I should pay twice. e) most causes that come to my door are either religious groups or left wing extremist groups with ties to stuff like the ALF - which makes the parties in point d idiots.
At least the salesmen of companies don't play the guilt trip which I hate most of all and will never bow to. -
TechnoHippy 19,245 posts
Seen 3 weeks ago
Registered 18 years agoYeah, the animal rights nutters really piss me off. They try and shock people into giving them money, and then cause even more problems like releasing mink into the local countryside. Muppets. I say we stop testing on animals and use ALF members instead. -
heyyo 14,356 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 16 years agoI had some Jehovah Witness knock the other day, 7am in the morning. I answered the door naked (hiding half behind the door) They just wouldn't shut the hell up. How I felt like stepping out from behind the door and just standing there with my naked self, they'd fuck off then. -
phAge 25,487 posts
Seen 3 days ago
Registered 18 years agoI've never been able to decide what pisses me off the most:
A) Hardcore, rabid, activists (whatever their cause) who just won't piss when you say you're not interested in their specific cause/organisation.
or
B) People who use the aforementioned hardcore activists' behaviour to justify not giving a shit about ANYTHING related to their cause. You know, the kind who won't give a quid to the WWF because "Greenpeace was WRONG about that oil platform, innit!".
Come to think of it, I probably loathe the latter group a smidge more. Cunts. -
Bennn 26 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 13 years agoI'm pretty sure if you just wait for them to finish their pitch and say no they'll take you off the calling list, otherwise they'll just keep on calling. -
Best one ever was some stupid fuck came to my door selling double glazing. I walked outside with him and pointed to my shiny new double glazed windows and walked back in the house and shut the door.
Stupid blind fuck. -
pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years agoHmm that doesn't usually put the more persistent ones off round our way. They merely point out that they're selling marine-strength triple glazing, which is better than what I've got.
So I tell them that I'm actually bankrupt and was in the middle of topping myself because of my overwhelming debts before they rang the doorbell.
Seriously - the only way to deal with the modern pestilence of cold-call selling, phone or doorstep, is to make the person doing it feel as uncomfortable as possible. If feigning madness doesn't work, start touching yourself inappropriately while making grunting noises like a pig hunting for truffles and they'll be gone before you can say "hadn't you better phone your manager for confirmation that you can put that much discount on the shite you're selling?" -
RevanEleven 2,076 posts
Seen 5 years ago
Registered 15 years agoKHITB. -
Techno Hippy wrote:
A friend of mine used to enjoy chatting with cold callers and telesales and wind them up. He did it once, answered the phone in tears, saying that such and such couldn't come to the phone as they had recently died. Unfortunetly it was his bank that had called and they immediatly froze his account
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