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I got roped into going to the new IKEA store in Milton Keynes. HATE HATE HATE HATE the crap setup they've got for actually getting there. HATE the cocksucking wankers who jump the traffic queue and cut in to the left of you when you're in the right slip lane for the store. HATE the fucking conveyor belt shopping experience. HATE the crap furniture . You find something you like and chances are when you go to pick it up, the only box left will look like it literally fell off the back of a lorry. HATE the fucking sneery bastards who tut loudly when you want to go back and look at something because the stupid cunts put themed stuff in entirely different parts of the store. HATRED! PURE BLIND RED HATRED! Peej |
Share the IKEA hatred....
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pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years ago -
welcome to the hate club, you are member no.2. -
pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years agoOnly highlight of the day - someone pulling a bloke out of his car and throwing him on the ground for nicking his parking space.
Superb moment but HATE the place. Am I right in thinking the reason we have IKEA over here is cos the Scandis hate the place more than we do?
Peej -
They really do suck from. The. Coooooooock.
Although I've found that you can actually bypass the showrooms and also cut off a huge chunk of the next bit as well and get to the warehouse in under a minute if you manage to find the hidden corridors. WoooOOOooo! -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 9 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoI gave up on Ikea years ago, when in London I only shop at Habitat, John Lewis, and that Cargo Home Stor (I think it's callled that). Ikea is t4h sh1t! 
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pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years agoThe only reason we went there was because every other cuntfucker on the planet that sells furniture says "delivery only" and you end up taking ALL FUCKING DAY off work waiting for the stuff, and then when it arrives it's bashed to fuck.
GRRR
Peej -
Share the hatred.
Although a few years back, when we had shitty Ikea furniture,I built a book case whilst watching a TV show. Once completed in record time, I found out that I'd used the bottom for the top and the top for the bottom, hence the laminated piece of crap beech was at the back and not at the front on both bits.
I took it apart, drove the 30miles back to Lakeside, told them it came like that (with little holes in the top and bottom, no idea how they got there) and they exchanged it.
Actually come to think of it, I actually kicked up a fuss in there one time as well when we went up there for about 5 things and they had 1. They gave me £20 back for my petrol costs. They are incredibly shit. We now have solid pine in our living room which is better made, looks nicer and actually cost less than Ikea's rubbish. Go figure. -
mwtb 2,381 posts
Seen 8 years ago
Registered 17 years agoI quite like the furniture. I agree about the rest though, and you forgot about the bit after you buy where you go through a sequence of queues to pay, collect and then, if you want it delivered, you have to take the stuff around to another company and queue there too. -
Doctor-Necesseter 682 posts
Registered 16 years agoI love everything about Ikea. It's the Brits who suck. -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 9 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoDoctor-Necesseter wrote:
I love everything about Ikea. It's the Brits who suck.
As in the staff and customer attitudes? -
President_Weasel 12,355 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agocubbymoore wrote:
They really do suck from. The. Coooooooock.
Although I've found that you can actually bypass the showrooms and also cut off a huge chunk of the next bit as well and get to the warehouse in under a minute if you manage to find the hidden corridors. WoooOOOooo!
in the Glasgow one, the hidden corridors are signposted. and on the map. and the showroom are up the stairs so you have to go there on purpose. I was pleasantly surprised wehn i went there over christmas. in fact my whole Ikea experience that day was hassle free.
err, sorry I mean
coooock -
Doctor-Necesseter 682 posts
Registered 16 years agoTo elaborate, it's a victim of it's own success; there aren't enough stores to cope with demand. And anyway, since when was anywhere pleasant to shop on a Saturday? Late night opening for the w1n! -
Foregone-Reality 2,216 posts
Seen 11 years ago
Registered 18 years agoHarvey Norman ftw. -
pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years agoDoctor-Necesseter wrote:
I love everything about Ikea. It's the Brits who suck.
Actually all the things that annoy me about the place are largely due to ignorant cuntwads who shop there so you're probably right Doc.
Peej -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 9 hours ago
Registered 20 years agopjmaybe wrote:
Doctor-Necesseter wrote:
I love everything about Ikea. It's the Brits who suck.
Actually all the things that annoy me about the place are largely due to ignorant cuntwads who shop there so you're probably right Doc.
Peej
Exactly, you know what it's problem inherent with all of the UK. People are completely horrible gits. Every other country I've visited customers are understanding and nice, staff are helpful.. The UK is shit, I'm never going back.
Edited by Razz at 21:19:02 14-01-2006 -
pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years agoCan't say I blame you Razz old chum!
Peej -
Hmm, there's a couple of Polish people in my flat at uni and they were amazed that we gave customer service at all in our shops. In their shops the cashiers don't speak at all, it's just how it is over there. -
pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years agoOnly customer service you get here.
"Do you want a store card or what?"
Peej -
Rincewind 1,399 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 17 years agoMy missus woke me up this morning with "Shall we go to IKEA today?"
I told her in no uncertain terms there's no way I'm going anywhere near an IKEA at the weekend.
Madness, pure madness. The only decent time to go is around 8-9pm on a weekday evening. -
pjmaybe wrote:
Oh don't get me started. I went into Burtons once and the guy opened a store card account for me without even asking. I mean how low??
Only customer service you get here.
"Do you want a store card or what?"
Peej
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pjmaybe 70,666 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 20 years agoCorrect.
We got there at about 3PM
Traffic queue - an hour (and because the twats who designed the roads around the store are CUNTS, they have a filter lane system right next to it, and a set of traffic lights which means people ignore the filter lane, steam up to the traffic lights and turn left, cutting into the head of the filter lane which means the whole fucking process takes hours longer than it should)
Parking queue - another 15 mins
Queue in store - 15 mins more
By the time you get to the stuff, you're already knackered!
Peej -
terminalterror 18,932 posts
Seen 6 days ago
Registered 20 years agocubbymoore wrote:
pjmaybe wrote:
Oh don't get me started. I went into Burtons once and the guy opened a store card account for me without even asking. I mean how low??
Only customer service you get here.
"Do you want a store card or what?"
Peej
How did he manage that? Surely he'd need to ask a few details to be able to do that? -
Doctor-Necesseter 682 posts
Registered 16 years agopjmaybe wrote:
To be fair you did pick the single worst time to go shopping. As I say, they're a victim of their own success, go on a weekday evening and it's a great place to shop.
Correct.
We got there at about 3PM
Traffic queue - an hour (and because the twats who designed the roads around the store are CUNTS, they have a filter lane system right next to it, and a set of traffic lights which means people ignore the filter lane, steam up to the traffic lights and turn left, cutting into the head of the filter lane which means the whole fucking process takes hours longer than it should)
Parking queue - another 15 mins
Queue in store - 15 mins more
By the time you get to the stuff, you're already knackered!
Peej
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Ikea's bloody great.
IF you go when it's quiet. When i got the new house i made the mistake of taking a day off work and going on a wednesday..... IN HALF TERM! Aaaaaagh! What the hell possessed so many people to take toddlers to ikea i will never know. I'm amazed people that fucking clueless managed to stick their cock in the right place to have kids in the first place. Hundreds of bored 4 and 5 year olds running around or crying because they're bored. It was hell on earth.
But - pop along at around 8pm on a monday night and you've got the place to yourself. Don't even have to queue up to get your meatballs \o/ -
Ikea can burn in hell, of course that creates something of a paradox because it is hell! -
HarryB 7,630 posts
Seen 10 months ago
Registered 18 years agoi got a cool chair and tv unit that takes my xbox/dvd/360
but shopping there is a bit shit, but they want to be touchy feely -
I've seen some WELL fit girls reduced to tears in Ikea by their ignorant neanderthal boyfriends over something personal that I never got close enough to hear. Strange. Seems to happen every time I go.
What amazes me more is how neanderthal men with overhanging brows and broken noses get olive skinned, slim, gorgeous women. -
deem 31,667 posts
Seen 8 months ago
Registered 18 years ago -
Since I work 1 minutes walk away from the Milton Keynes IKEA, I can pop in any midweek lunchtime and pick up whatever I want in blissful near-solitude.
/revels in house full of IKEA tat
welcome to the hate club, you are member no.2. 
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