Burger Sauce - STAT! • Non-Gaming • Food • Eurogamer.net

tourlord 6 Jul 2006 01:38:36 2,600 posts
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OK, I've had a few beers, so my stomach is expecting cheap pizza and/or burgers smothered in burger sauce.

I've tried Mayonnaise & Ketchup, but it doesn't work - my gut still groans, "Burger sauce, you cunt".

What am I missing from the secret recipe? Should I add Greek Sweat, or Turkish saliva?

I'm desperate... Please help.

Bunda 6 Jul 2006 04:35:31 5,246 posts
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Stubbs, D.L. Jardine's, or (as a last resort) Bull's-Eye.

Dirtbox 6 Jul 2006 05:13:06 92,595 posts
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Post deleted

StixxUK 6 Jul 2006 07:27:50 8,755 posts
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You can buy burger sauce, fool. It comes in little blue squirty tubs. I think it's either heinz or hellmans or something.

Deleted user 6 July 2006 08:47:22

If you want something seriously good for your hotdog/burger/anything else try Branston's Gherkin Relish.

I discoreved this a while back, and everyone who's tried it has become an addict - even my Ex who hates Gherkins.

Seek it out, squirt it on (or in the hotdog bun), and enjoy! (comes in a clear trapezoidal squirty bottle.

Don't be tempted by the other Branston ones - the Gherkin is truly the king.

Teeth 6 Jul 2006 08:50:33 7,987 posts
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I think he might have gone to bed.

Fat-Boy 6 Jul 2006 08:51:33 4,300 posts
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Burger Sauce? You girl! EVERY late night snack has to be smothered in the hottest chilli sauce you can find. Even biscuits. It's the law.

reality_cheque 6 Jul 2006 10:56:20 7,486 posts
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Furbs wrote:
Burger, cheese, bacon and maybe some onion at a push. These are the only legitimate options.

I'd add pickled red cabbage in there too, provides a nice contrast to the onion.

Bacon burgers are where it's at.

tourlord 6 Jul 2006 11:08:33 2,600 posts
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Sorry, I went to bed and had bizzarre dreams about talking food :/

I like otto's suggestion of garlic, sour cream and Tobasco - that sounds yummy.

In fact, all of your suggestions are good. Now I feel like a sauce philistine of some sort.

Pike 6 Jul 2006 11:14:25 13,459 posts
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Avocado is a nice addition, either just sliced or turned into guacamole.

Ajvar relish works nicely, as well.

Spanky 6 Jul 2006 11:18:41 15,037 posts
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Use thon Sweet Yella Relish shit, you know the stuff with sweetcorn in it. That stuff is the shitzo76, in a good way!

Deleted user 6 July 2006 11:22:01

picallilli i think innit?

Spanky 6 Jul 2006 11:25:27 15,037 posts
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blech naw, its some sort of relish.

Ah!

Onny 6 Jul 2006 11:26:42 5,695 posts
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/note to self

do not read food threads when trying to eat well.

/goes to buy artery-clogging junk

opalw00t 6 Jul 2006 11:27:46 12,836 posts
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I thought burger sauce was ketchup, mayo and mustard...

tourlord 6 Jul 2006 11:31:18 2,600 posts
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Pike knows his shit - Guacamole is awesome on burgers!

w00t - I thought it was just ketchup and mayo myself - maybe mustard was the missing ingredient all along.

Edited by tourlord at 11:31:09 06-07-2006

Tiger_Walts 6 Jul 2006 11:37:03 16,674 posts
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Chilli relish FTW

Fat-Boy 6 Jul 2006 11:38:48 4,300 posts
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Don't forget that Burger Sauce is American, so you'll have to put that squeezy yellow mustard in it (French's is the best know brand over here) rather than good old Colemans.

opalw00t 6 Jul 2006 11:39:37 12,836 posts
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True - thanks for clarification!

Deleted user 6 July 2006 11:40:03

Better Burger Sauce. For all those that can be bothered.

tourlord 6 Jul 2006 11:45:01 2,600 posts
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jamesphilp wrote:
Better Burger Sauce. For all those that can be bothered.

That looks fucking delicious, but 45 minutes?

jellyhead 6 Jul 2006 11:48:34 24,355 posts
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nice one fat boy, i was about to say use the squeezy american mustard - brobbers, frobers? and a uk version. Anyway lidl or waitrose do 'em.
I use a squeezy yellow mustard & the new branston Tomato, Hot pepper and jalapeno squeezy relish in the burger and a nice big dollop of Nandos Peri Peri ketchup on the plate!
yumalicious! \0/

I can't do any of the "Sweetcorn & peppers in clear fluid" relishes.
/ dry heaves

Edited by jellyhead at 11:50:15 06-07-2006

tourlord 6 Jul 2006 11:52:53 2,600 posts
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jellyhead wrote:
nice one fat boy, i was about to say use the squeezy american mustard - brobbers, frobers? and a uk version. Anyway lidl or waitrose do 'em.
I use a squeezy yellow mustard & the new branston Tomato, Hot pepper and jalapeno squeezy relish in the burger and a nice big dollop of Nandos Peri Peri ketchup on the plate!
yumalicious! \0/

I didn't realise burger sauce has mustard in it... I'll pick up a bottle of French's some time.

That Branston relish sounds like a veritable wet dream of a burger sauce sir! I'll pick some of that up too!

Deleted user 6 July 2006 12:00:19

tourlord wrote:

jellyhead wrote:
nice one fat boy, i was about to say use the squeezy american mustard - brobbers, frobers? and a uk version. Anyway lidl or waitrose do 'em.
I use a squeezy yellow mustard & the new branston Tomato, Hot pepper and jalapeno squeezy relish in the burger and a nice big dollop of Nandos Peri Peri ketchup on the plate!
yumalicious! \0/

I didn't realise burger sauce has mustard in it... I'll pick up a bottle of French's some time.

That Branston relish sounds like a veritable wet dream of a burger sauce sir! I'll pick some of that up too!

It's the same kind of relish (in the same line) as the Gherkin relish I spoke of before.

tourlord 6 Jul 2006 12:05:35 2,600 posts
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They both sound delicious.

I think tonight I might just buy a variety of sauces and relishes and squirt them into my mouth until I'm full. I've lost interest in the actual burger now - condiments is where it's at!

Deleted user 6 July 2006 12:08:47

The Gherkin one is great with chips too.

Quick poll - chips - ketchup or mayo or both? (Or something else?)

Fat-Boy 6 Jul 2006 12:10:38 4,300 posts
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The Branston jalapeno relish is ok, not particularly spicy at all though. Also, the lid on it (or rather the hole in the lid) is too big really, which means you'll probably put too much of it on your burger, especially when the bottle's full.

Chips? Salt and vinegar. Every time!

Edited by Fat Boy at 12:10:28 06-07-2006

Tiger_Walts 6 Jul 2006 12:12:06 16,674 posts
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I thought relish should be applied with a spoon, ya lazy git.

tourlord 6 Jul 2006 12:12:59 2,600 posts
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Chips: Salt & Vinegar and Mayo & Ketchup

Sometimes BBQ sauce too

Deleted user 6 July 2006 12:13:39

Fat Boy wrote:
The Branston jalapeno relish is ok, not particularly spicy at all though. Also, the lid on it (or rather the hole in the lid) is too big really, which means you'll probably put too much of it on your burger, especially when the bottle's full.

Chips? Salt and vinegar. Every time!

Edited by Fat Boy at 12:10:28 06-07-2006

There's a critical point at which to keep it upside-down.
Turn it round too early and it'll shoot out when you open the cap, too late and you'll be waiting for relish for ages.

A few mm off the diameter of the hole would be a good idea imo, but maybe there's some scientific reason not to.

The sweet onion relish (Branston lineup) isn't worth writing home about though.

EDIT: And vinegar on chips is teh pure Evil.

Edited by jamesphilp at 12:15:00 06-07-2006