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Nope English. Got told earlier that I need to go back to the temple again tomorrow at 7am to collect his ashes with his Thai wife to then scatter them at the beach. This is mental. Also, my dad promised me a watch, she gave that to her brother two days ago. Also, she says I have to pay half the bill which is £2500 more than I have right now. I said I want to see the bill please. The support for this kind of situation is zero. Now, I'm not sure whether to move this to the Depression thread, or leave this here as a cautionary tale. Your thoughts and honesty would be welcome here gents. Feel a bit like I'm doing a bloody Dale! /I'm not and @Tafford can vouch for me I'm sure. |
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BinaryBob101 26,593 posts
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Registered 10 years ago -
Tonka 28,756 posts
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Registered 15 years ago1. Wake up early
2. Take a cab to the airport
3. Fly home
4. Spend £2500 on a nice watch -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
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Registered 7 years ago@BinaryBob101
I find it hard to believe that a Thai funeral costs 5 grand. -
RyanDS 12,258 posts
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Registered 10 years agoI would leave it here.
A shit time and getting help from mates (even anonymous ones on the internet) is different to depression which is an ongoing disease.
I agree with Tonka to an extent. My experience of friends with Thai wives / girlfriends is that they are loving and caring as long as the money is flowing, then are gone*. Even the ones who have been together many years. That is not to say I judge either side in the relationship, I don't blame the men for wanting company, and the women who need security. As much as she made your dad happy for hopefully many years, I would be very very wary just from the watch and money asking already. (Also Pattaya)
*With 2 exceptions who I truly beleive are in love. But that is out of 10+ couples I know.
Bob, I don't know anyone in Pattaya but if you do want advice or to chat to a Brit who lives out there and knows the country in detail and can help you navigate, let me know and I will put you in touch. At worst I can get you some info on realistic costs etc.
Edited by RyanDS at 14:08:40 16-11-2018 -
wobbly_Bob 4,756 posts
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Registered 12 years agoJust wanted to say sorry to hear about your dad. All that crap around it is the last thing you need too. -
BinaryBob101 26,593 posts
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Registered 10 years ago@RyanDS - Nailed it. Thank you. I thought Ying was part of the exception list, but probably not. If I don't see the lawyer I get nothing. I'll see what tomorrow brings, then I might give you a shout.
A Thai funeral can easy cost 5K. So much ridiculous money spent over the last few days on this - by her, not me. I maxed everything out getting here and had to borrow for the rest. He had a 30ft wide shrine at the temple ffs.
Tonka, I would happily do all four, right now, but he decided against my pleas to go to the hospital for proper care weeks ago. It would have bankrupted him, he wanted her to have the property and the Thai money and me to have the UK money. Feel I would be giving up on what he wanted, I need to see this through the best I can. -
BinaryBob101 26,593 posts
Seen 2 hours ago
Registered 10 years ago@RyanDS - Nailed it. Thank you. I thought Ying was part of the exception list, but probably not. If I don't see the lawyer I get nothing. I'll see what tomorrow brings, then I might give you a shout.
A Thai funeral can easy cost 5K. So much ridiculous money spent over the last few days on this - by her, not me. I maxed everything out getting here and had to borrow for the rest. He had a 30ft wide shrine at the temple ffs.
Tonka, I would happily do all four, right now, but he decided against my pleas to go to the hospital for proper care weeks ago. It would have bankrupted him, he wanted her to have the property and the Thai money and me to have the UK money. Feel I would be giving up on what he wanted, I need to see this through the best I can. -
RyanDS 12,258 posts
Seen 2 hours ago
Registered 10 years agoJust to add, it may not be malicious, and she may have genuinely cared for your dad (and you.) What with the large shrine etc. It may also be a coping mechanism or a cultural divergence from your expectations.
And yeah, funerals (or anything religious really) in Thailand can be ridiculous money. They do love throwing their hard earned wages at their ancestors.
As a random but related aside. I hooked up with a girl (well 37 year old woman) in Hong Kong, spent a few days together after meeting in a rock bar, no money involved or anything like that, just a holiday fling. She was pretty open on the second day that she wanted a husband to look after her and support her. (Not that she needs much support, she is a carer for special needs kids who actually has a good salary etc.) Her attitude was we were having a holiday fling, but if I wanted to marry her that day and take her to England she would be happy. We still keep in touch and are good friends, it was just a real shock how open and attitudes in that part of Asia can vary. She very clearly sees it as money and love are different but also hand in hand.
She would never be a prostitute, but if she meets someone she likes she has no qualms about immediately becoming a wife. I could imagine if I had married her and I later died she would simultaneously be very upset about me, but at the same time immediately consolidate my money to support her and her two kids and see no harm in it. She was open she was looking for support and would probably see this as an extension of that. -
BinaryBob101 26,593 posts
Seen 2 hours ago
Registered 10 years agoWhoa, pretty traumatised by this whole thing now. The ceremonies didn't end on Friday as planned. We had to go back to the temple again on Saturday morning at 7am to collect his remains, have another monk do a blessing for 20 minutes, then we had to travel out to another temple with an incredibly long pier that seemed to stretch to infinity. Must have been almost 40 in the sun.
We get to the end of the pier and I'm told there's no monk to do the final, final, final part of the ceremony. We wait for 30 odd minutes, then the monk turns up in a golf buggy. Another 20 minute blessing occurred, by this time and four days into this whole shebang, time just stood still. I guess a zen like moment happened, which was far more preferable to losing my shit. It was very odd. Then, we dropped his remains into the sea.
Got the solicitors contact details today, which I'll be visiting tomorrow with Ying at 9am. Don't think most solicitors will have space free for a spec appointment, unless a bit of cash changes hands. I've emailed her too. Flight is booked back for Tuesday night at 9pm. I may have been optimistic thinking I could get the business side done that quickly, but then I wasn't expecting a four day funeral either.
I think I'm a little traumatised by the events of the last week, but feel strong to take on whatever comes at me. Always keep an open, yet cynical mund in Thailand as they do. It's a very odd dichotomy that very much works in their favour, but if you're aware of it then it can help hugely.
I wouldn't wish this fucking mess on anybody. I'm so glad my wife and I decided she'd stay home. Miss her like hell.
Thought I'd update after some rest. Cheers guys.
Edited by BinaryBob101 at 12:15:54 18-11-2018 -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
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Registered 7 years agoHow are our intrepid travellers going?
I’m in Zurich Airport heading to Luang Prabang via Singapore.
/Excited! -
JoelStinty 6,985 posts
Seen 26 minutes ago
Registered 5 years agoActually arrived back in the uk last night. My latop died on me and can still get it replaced under warranty and I need it to edit photos etc. The whole purpose of my trip was to work on my portfolio so without I would feel a little aimless. Having no way to store, edit and write for frustrate me if I carried on long term.
So come home for Xmas and then looking to go back out after New Years for a couple more months. Also could really do with a break I think. Last few days in Bangkok it caught up with me a bit and slept more than I have in a while. A shame as I stated to get into the swing of things a little bit. A little gutted a little happy I’m home and get to see people over Xmas. -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
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Registered 7 years ago@JoelStinty
Cool, where will you head after Xmas ? -
JoelStinty 6,985 posts
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Registered 5 years agoNot sure was going to go on loas, Vietnam and Cambodia but might take the time to research China and Myanmar. Seemed to be the two places a lot of people waxed lyrical about. -
RyanDS 12,258 posts
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Registered 10 years agoFor the first time in 3 years I have no trips booked. With the contracting and such I am trying to save a bit more and get the business established. Really really feel depressed. I ALWAYS have a tripped planned to look forward to and it feels so empty not having a note in my diary with a flight to look forward to.
Wanted to get away Christmas, but all flights are around a grand. LAst year I flew Christmas day to Hong Kong for £360 odd, the year before to Thailand for £400. This year it is all at least double that and I can't justify. -
Syrette 50,039 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoAnyone been to Utrecht? Worth it? Planning a day trip from Amsterdam to there next year.
Also any tips/advice on beer (and spirits, liquor, wine) when it comes to Amsterdam? I know it's not the best place in the world when it comes to this but I still love to sample the local (and I don't mean Heineken and Amstel) tipples wherever I go.
Cheers! -
Dirt3 393 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 4 years ago@RyanDS
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-europe-46362159/the-two-swedish-mums-who-want-people-to-give-up-flying-for-a-year
Give up travel and save the planet ! -
TheSaint 18,146 posts
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Registered 13 years agoStopping pointless business travel is one thing but I'm not giving up my holidays. -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
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Registered 7 years agoJoelStinty wrote:
Bagan in Myanmar is one of the most amazing places I’ve been, breathtaking. Inle Lake was great too.
Not sure was going to go on loas, Vietnam and Cambodia but might take the time to research China and Myanmar. Seemed to be the two places a lot of people waxed lyrical about.
I loved everywhere in Vietnam, will let you know about Laos and Cambodia
You NEED to go to Japan though.gif)
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Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
Seen 13 hours ago
Registered 7 years agoRyanDS wrote:
Understandable, travel becomes addictive.
For the first time in 3 years I have no trips booked. With the contracting and such I am trying to save a bit more and get the business established. Really really feel depressed. I ALWAYS have a tripped planned to look forward to and it feels so empty not having a note in my diary with a flight to look forward to.
Wanted to get away Christmas, but all flights are around a grand. LAst year I flew Christmas day to Hong Kong for £360 odd, the year before to Thailand for £400. This year it is all at least double that and I can't justify.
Any idea th reason for the jump in prices. -
JoelStinty 6,985 posts
Seen 26 minutes ago
Registered 5 years agoArmoured_Bear wrote:
Yeah for sure! That and Iceland are on top of my list. But also countries that I think I like to share visiting with someone I care about too. Those two months in Asia have made me a little wistful
JoelStinty wrote:
Bagan in Myanmar is one of the most amazing places I’ve been, breathtaking. Inle Lake was great too.
Not sure was going to go on loas, Vietnam and Cambodia but might take the time to research China and Myanmar. Seemed to be the two places a lot of people waxed lyrical about.
I loved everywhere in Vietnam, will let you know about Laos and Cambodia
You NEED to go to Japan though -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
Seen 13 hours ago
Registered 7 years agoJoelStinty wrote:
You can do an initial recon visit and then share with someone and be the tourist guide later
Armoured_Bear wrote:
Yeah for sure! That and Iceland are on top of my list. But also countries that I think I like to share visiting with someone I care about too. Those two months in Asia have made me a little wistful
JoelStinty wrote:
Bagan in Myanmar is one of the most amazing places I’ve been, breathtaking. Inle Lake was great too.
Not sure was going to go on loas, Vietnam and Cambodia but might take the time to research China and Myanmar. Seemed to be the two places a lot of people waxed lyrical about.
I loved everywhere in Vietnam, will let you know about Laos and Cambodia
You NEED to go to Japan though -
Dirt3 393 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 4 years agoTheSaint wrote:
Yep. That is exactly why the planet is screwed.
Stopping pointless business travel is one thing but I'm not giving up my holidays. -
Tonka 28,756 posts
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Registered 15 years ago@JoelStinty If you want some pointers wrt China just let me know. -
wobbly_Bob 4,756 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 12 years agoArmoured_Bear wrote:
Heading to Luang Prabang too! Crossing the border this morning into Laos from Chiang Khong and taking the slow boat down the Mekong.
How are our intrepid travellers going?
I’m in Zurich Airport heading to Luang Prabang via Singapore.
/Excited! -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
Seen 13 hours ago
Registered 7 years agowobbly_Bob wrote:
I just arrived, bloody tired after an 18 hour journey!
Armoured_Bear wrote:
Heading to Luang Prabang too! Crossing the border this morning into Laos from Chiang Khong and taking the slow boat down the Mekong.
How are our intrepid travellers going?
I’m in Zurich Airport heading to Luang Prabang via Singapore.
/Excited!
We are heading up To Nong khiew tomorrow but will be back here from the 6th to the 10th.
Let me know if you’re around then and we could grab a beer! -
Load_2.0 28,290 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoI just read the posts from BinaryBob10.
Oooof. Sounded traumatic. Did it all work out?
Edited by Load_2.0 at 08:00:48 01-12-2018 -
wobbly_Bob 4,756 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 12 years agoFirst evening in Luang Prubang. Obviously it's far too early to judge but so far not feeling it. At least the old centre feels like Laos Disney land. The only Lao I've seen are market sellers and waiters but every other face is western.
I'll see more in the days to come. Hopefully I'll see the real Laos -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
Seen 13 hours ago
Registered 7 years agowobbly_Bob wrote:
It’s a touristy town, no doubt about it , I liked it from the half day I spent though, Laid back and pretty.
First evening in Luang Prubang. Obviously it's far too early to judge but so far not feeling it. At least the old centre feels like Laos Disney land. The only Lao I've seen are market sellers and waiters but every other face is western.
I'll see more in the days to come. Hopefully I'll see the real Laos
Nong Khiaw is gorgeous, scenery is stunning , doing a boat trip tomorrow and can’t wait. -
Armoured_Bear 24,976 posts
Seen 13 hours ago
Registered 7 years agoBalcony view
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Shiiiiiiiiit. Loks proper nice that
.gif)
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