The legend that is Homer J. Simpson Page 2

  • NeoGoaT 22 Sep 2006 14:48:55 290 posts
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    Homer: Wait, I'm no missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus! Let me out.

    Pilot: Sorry, no can do.

    Homer: Oh save me Jebus!
  • TwistidChimp 22 Sep 2006 14:49:13 8,825 posts
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    HaHOo.. I'm laughing!, but it's a laugh of impatience... start the movie

    /shakes fist
  • jaxon58 22 Sep 2006 14:49:51 2,526 posts
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    Homer: "Weaselling out of things is what seperates us from the animals.... excepts weasels."
  • erictheking 22 Sep 2006 14:52:43 106 posts
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    Huxley wrote:
    erictheking wrote:
    Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. 6 feet tall, 300 pounds ... it makes ice.

    Which then gets even better

    Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

    Which gets even better.......

    (Slurring) "So I says, yeah if you want that money you come and find it, cause I don't know where it is ya baloney....you make me wanna retch! Snore"
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 22 Sep 2006 14:53:51 47,499 posts
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    Ooh, look at me. I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane.

    Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
    Ralph: I'm a boy.
    Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
  • ballz 22 Sep 2006 14:55:03 497 posts
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    So, it appears that the cat burglar has been caught - by the very man who was trying to catch him...
  • WrongShui 22 Sep 2006 14:57:56 6,820 posts
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    You gave away both dogs? You know how i feel about giving!

    When I first started here I didn't even know what a nuclear panda plant was

    Edited by WrongShui at 14:58:09 22-09-2006
  • magicpanda 22 Sep 2006 14:58:01 15,048 posts
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    Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
    Homer: Is it Batman?
    Marge: No, he's a scientist.
    Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
    Marge: It's not Batman!



    Homer: You dont win friends with salad
  • Machiavel 22 Sep 2006 14:58:43 5,964 posts
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    Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is.
  • gamingdave 22 Sep 2006 14:58:56 5,011 posts
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    after seeing his Mr Plow advert on TV ....

    "John Q Driveway has our number, now we play the waiting game ................."

    10 seconds latter

    "The waiting game sucks, lets play hungry hungry hippos"
  • erictheking 22 Sep 2006 15:05:35 106 posts
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    "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women."
  • Deleted user 22 September 2006 15:09:11
    Homer spinning on the kitchen floor

    "Wooooo woo woo woo woo wooo wooo
    Wooooo woo woo woo woo wooo wooo
    Wooooo woo woo woo woo wooo wooo"
  • Fat-Boy 22 Sep 2006 15:10:56 4,300 posts
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    "Mmmmmmmm Floor Pie."
  • Tricky 22 Sep 2006 15:11:56 5,012 posts
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    Homer: "Mmmmm, I love these lazy Saturdays."

    Marge: "But it's Wednesday"

    Homer: "Doh!"
  • Universal_Hamster 22 Sep 2006 15:12:20 4,948 posts
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    Lisa reading an invitation:
    "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."
    Bart:
    "What's that extra B for?"
    Homer:
    "That's a typo."


    And of course, my all time favorite:

    "See you in hell, candy boys!"

    Edited by Universal Hamster at 15:12:30 22-09-2006
  • Nexus_6 22 Sep 2006 15:13:05 5,272 posts
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    the captain of the submarine says homer is like the son he never had, and homer responds with 'and youre like the father i never visit'
  • Fat-Boy 22 Sep 2006 15:13:51 4,300 posts
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    Marge: Work called. They said "If you're not in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday."
    Homer: Woohoo! Four day weekend!
  • Lutz 22 Sep 2006 15:15:26 48,870 posts
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    Not homer directly; but the funniest scene in the SImpsons ever is the April Fools day one where Bart gets a can of beer and shoves it in a paint mixer machine for 10 minutes, thenm puts it in the fridge. Homer opens it, bart jumps round the corner shouting "April...!" and the scene shows the house from a mile away exploding in a coloumn of beer. Makes me laugh just thinking about it.

    Homer quote though:

    Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
    Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

    Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

    Grandpa: Are we there yet?
    Homer: No
    Grandpa: Are we there yet?
    Homer: No
    Grandpa: Are we there yet?
    Homer: No
    Grandpa: ........Where are we going?

    Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
    Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
    Homer: Explain how!
    Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
    Homer: Woo-hoo!

    Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

    Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
    Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.
  • Lutz 22 Sep 2006 15:15:49 48,870 posts
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    Mmm... waffle run off...
  • TwistidChimp 22 Sep 2006 15:19:22 8,825 posts
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    I brought the First Aid Kit, Its spring loaded for quick access!

    /propels tiny pair of scissors into his forhead

    /homer scream
  • jaxon58 22 Sep 2006 15:19:43 2,526 posts
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    It's not a spoken line, but i love the episode where Homer sees Apu having it away with the squishy delivery lady through a door window. In shock, Homer slowly walks out the Kwik-e-Mart backwards, then all the way home in the same shocked backwards state. Goes up stairs backwards, gets into bed backwards, then dreams of walking backwards.

    Love it!
  • Huntcjna 22 Sep 2006 15:19:57 13,890 posts
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    Mmmmmmm... Forbidden donut...
  • gang_of_bitches 22 Sep 2006 15:20:00 5,707 posts
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    In dodgy columbian drug baron type voice:

    "First you the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women"


    "Mmmm erotic cakes"
  • TwistidChimp 22 Sep 2006 15:20:11 8,825 posts
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    Crazy !? Dont mind if I do !
  • Mho7276501 22 Sep 2006 15:21:01 383 posts
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    Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Ham?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Pork chops?
    Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
    Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
  • Machiavel 22 Sep 2006 15:22:05 5,964 posts
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    Homer on the lie detector reminds me of this: yeah, a deviation, but worth it.

    Eddie: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
    Moe: No! [buzz]
    All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding]
    Eddie: Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go.
    Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz]
    _A_ date. [buzz]
    Dinner with friends. [buzz]
    Dinner alone. [buzz]
    Watching TV alone. [buzz]
    All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the
    Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz]
    [weakly] Sears catalog. [ding]
    [angry] Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't
    deserve this kind of shabby treatment! [buzz]
  • Fat-Boy 22 Sep 2006 15:22:23 4,300 posts
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    "I won't sleep in the same bed as a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping bag...uh, goodnight."
  • TwistidChimp 22 Sep 2006 15:23:06 8,825 posts
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    (sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree!

    /hits tree




    The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

    Edited by TwistidChimp at 15:23:10 22-09-2006
  • Freek 22 Sep 2006 15:24:31 7,682 posts
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    Homer as Max Power: There's three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way AND the Max Power way!!

    Bart: That's just the wrong way, isn't it?

    Homer: Yes, but faster!
  • TwistidChimp 22 Sep 2006 15:25:35 8,825 posts
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    Bart: b-6
    Homer: you sunk my scrabbleship!
    Lisa: this game makes no sense.
    Homer: tell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI!
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