Following Depression Page 120

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  • sirtacos 20 May 2013 11:27:58 8,017 posts
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    Great links mal.

    Happy to find Hyperbole.5's finally put out something new.

    Edited by sirtacos at 23:58:18 21-05-2013
  • MIckelsenWhiteLTD 4 Jul 2013 22:42:56 57 posts
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    I posted in this thread before with a different name. Then I went proper mental and fucked my life. A bit.

    A lot.

    Not very much. Here's my morning:

    I walk down a very busy street. I glance at men and women as they come into my field of vision. I'm being a human. All the women are smiling at me. No. They're laughing. Maybe there's someone behind me pulling a face. There isn't. Maybe my shoes are dirty and women hate dirty shoes? And they find hateful things funny. Fuck you, brain.

    The women (who I notice before the men) are smiling at me/are laughing at me (they fancy me/they find my appearance amusing).

    Therapy is great!
  • DrStrangelove 5 Jul 2013 02:37:30 12,131 posts
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  • Dirtbox 5 Jul 2013 05:26:36 89,994 posts
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  • Futaba 5 Jul 2013 05:58:29 3,630 posts
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    I had to close it half way through because it was making me depressed.
  • Ziz0u 5 Jul 2013 08:28:30 11,006 posts
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  • morriss 5 Jul 2013 09:28:16 71,290 posts
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    I don't know if obsessive insecurity due to lack of female interaction counts as depression.

    I'm no therapist but who gives a fuck what they think? If they're laughing at you or judge you based on whether your shoes are clean then they can go fuck themselves.

    That'll be £75.

    Edited by morriss at 09:29:03 05-07-2013
  • sirtacos 5 Jul 2013 11:17:56 8,017 posts
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    MIckelsenWhiteLTD wrote:

    Therapy is great!
    I admire your openness. "Fuck you, brain" is definitely a sentiment I can sympathise with.

    @morriss glibness aside, no amount of positive interaction can inoculate you against a predisposition towards anxiety. If your synapses are already geared toward projecting your insecurities onto the outside world, then that's what you'll perceive, no matter how much you try to "man up" or "get over yourself" (which is ultimately what it comes down to, from my experience anyway).

    Edited by sirtacos at 11:21:36 05-07-2013
  • Deleted user 5 July 2013 17:13:14
    Insecurity and depression are two different things.
  • chopsen 5 Jul 2013 17:25:39 19,993 posts
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    Resigning yourself to it being the wiring of your neurons and there's nothing you can do is equally unhelpful, though.
  • morriss 5 Jul 2013 19:31:57 71,290 posts
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    I suffered from anxiety a couple of years back, still do to a degree.In fact, I'm resigned to the fact I'll never get 100% better.

    Exercise and telling myself that I'm in control and everyone can go fuck themselves is what got me from lying under a duvet in foetal to be being fucking amazing.

    Seriously. Tell everyone to go fuck themselves. Make yourself not care. Run. Run a lot. Make yourself do it.


    Edited by morriss at 19:35:53 05-07-2013
  • Stickman 5 Jul 2013 21:58:11 29,794 posts
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    Cheer up, Richie, you'll always have your comedy to fall back on.
  • Deleted user 5 July 2013 22:07:59
  • morriss 5 Jul 2013 23:26:18 71,290 posts
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    /doesn't get it
  • Deleted user 5 July 2013 23:46:54
  • Trafford 6 Jul 2013 00:14:06 8,004 posts
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    Edited by Trafford at 07:54:45 06-07-2013
  • sirtacos 6 Jul 2013 05:22:01 8,017 posts
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    I wasn't implying that because your brain may be predisposed to / saddled by anxiety, that it's a terminal condition.
    Of course improvements can be made, with the right kind of effort and help. I was just stating the obvious: that it's hard to change ingrained modes of thinking, because your brain tends to take the road most travelled, and it's a self-reinforcing process. If it's been in place for long enough, it can feel intractable.

    Aargh. wrote:
    Insecurity and depression are two different things.
    Difficult to differentiate between simple insecurity and anxiety. Also, not easy to isolate depression from anxiety when they are co-morbid and feed into each other.

    Of course people in the throes of that kind of trout cycle are going to feel/sound trapped and dramatic and emo.

    Thought, not trout :D

    Edited by sirtacos at 05:30:41 06-07-2013
  • Deleted user 6 July 2013 12:23:26
    Can depression make you angry?

    I've never been one to believe in depression as such, with all the medication, counselling, etc, even though it runs in my family("depression") ...

    But for a while now, the smallest things just make me angry. Run out if milk, I want punch something. Someone doesn't do something they say they were gonna I get this tight, weighted feeling in my stomach... Just the smallest of things.

    To add a bit of context, I suppose, I am a bit lonely, I have trouble making new friends(mainly because I just dislike people, perhaps?) and, as cliché as you can get there is a girl I'm crazy about but can't have and she's blind to how I feel(or is she?), and I absolutely love her kids(her 1 year old boy called me Dad on occasion, and her daughter "I wish you were my dad.").

    But I'm not sad, or anything, it's just, sometimes I want to just hurt everyone. I have to take a few minutes and just do that whole breathing thing.

    Dunno where I'm going with that and I'm sure there's plenty I could talk about, but you kinda draw a blank when you try to actually think about it.

    I dunno, maybe I just need a cry. Not done that for the best part if 11 or 12 years.
  • MightyMouse 6 Jul 2013 13:43:02 1,160 posts
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    Yep, depression makes a lot of people very angry. When everything feels like it's shit then having minor stuff go wrong as well is incredibly frustrating.

    Counselling can be not much more than talking to someone, honestly. If you can say anything to family or friends (or a priest if you're religious) and have them give you good advice then that's great, but if not then there's nothing shameful about it.

    Don't worry too much about labelling it depression or worry about going to a GP. If you go to a GP then you can tell them that you just want counselling or just want medication, or that you don't want anything. It's your choice, they might suggest something different but ultimately it's up to you.
  • sirtacos 6 Jul 2013 13:53:41 8,017 posts
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    Yeah, unexplained anger - especially sparked by trivial things - can take me by surprise sometimes. It'S pretty common as MM says.

    I recommend seeing a counsellor. It can help you untie the Gordian knot of what causes what... and perhaps help you formulate coping strategies or some sort of treatment plan.

    I have found it very helpful to make a rough mental plan of the steps I want to take to improve the situation or at least do something about it. Getting the ball rolling with external (professional) assistance can be an immense relief in itself, regardless of what it leads to. It took me a while to work up the courage to do it, but I'm glad I did.
  • DrStrangelove 6 Jul 2013 22:03:40 12,131 posts
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    Depression isn't depression, it's a very wide term and I think rather a symptom than an actual illness in itself. By which I mean, a symptom of a lot of different brain illnesses or fucked up life.

    But it can make you fucking angry, that's pretty common actually. It lowers your resilience and threshold a lot, and in more extreme cases, can make you actually want to kill people. I've witnessed several depressive people slipping into hateful and hurting behaviour, or actual violence. Out of desperation and not being able to take it anymore, I think.

    Auto-aggression is a well known symptom, but aggression doesn't have to target oneself. In fact, auto-aggression can be turned round outwards aggression and vice versa.

    But again, that's just one of the ways it can go.

    Edited by DrStrangelove at 22:07:52 06-07-2013
  • Deleted user 6 July 2013 22:31:02
    Yeah, the wanting to kill people is part of it. Only for a few seconds mind, before I find myself thinking like that and come back to reality a bit. And I've never lashed out physically at anyone myself, it's more of a "give me a few minutes" thing.

    To be fair, I never really thought much of it until I started reading this thread a bit, and seeing how, like you said, it can involve a wide range of different elements. Always thought of it as all sadness, melancholic, listening to soppy music to make yourself feel better, somehow.. Suppose it's the same way as crying releasing something in your body to release all the bad stuff, or whatever. It was always "People don't deal with their own emotions anymore."
    It's strange because mostly, I'm a pretty happy guy. Sure I've got things in my life I'm not content with, like everyone else, but I've never been one to dwell on anything, and, to be fair, getting angry enough to want to hurt someone for the smallest things is a little bit worrying.

    Not really good at writing stuff.
  • Deleted user 7 July 2013 00:06:38
    But not intelligent enough to know where any of the punctuation keys are on the keyboard.

    Maybe you're just misunderstood.
  • Deleted user 7 July 2013 00:32:02
    If that was aimed at me, that was typed on my phone, it's hard to keep it fully edited when you can't really scroll through the text to make those little corrections. :-P
  • DrStrangelove 7 Jul 2013 00:34:31 12,131 posts
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    Phones depress me
  • morriss 7 Jul 2013 07:07:08 71,290 posts
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    Depression in the context you're all using it just means you're down or frustrated. You're not depressed. Clinical depression is something else entirely.

    Most people in here are just lacking in self confidence and have become insular because of it. The anger, frustration and paranoia are all just symptoms of this.

    Stop taking whatever pills you're on, start exercising, do some manual labour.

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