Following Depression Page 220

  • DrStrangelove 7 Jan 2018 09:58:22 12,516 posts
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    RandolphCarter wrote:
    @DrStrangelove Thank you for the reply. It's weird: for me it tends to be sporadic. It hits hard and consumes me, but then fades away and I'll be fine for a few days. Then it will resurface at random and I'll be under a pitch black cloud for hours, or even days.

    It peaks and troughs regularly. Right now I feel great and full of energy, whereas yesterday I felt awful for no reason.

    One of the main reasons I find it difficult to speak to a doctor about is that unless I am being afflicted by it at that precise moment then I will tend to downplay it.

    It's random and sporadic as opposed to all-encompassing. Christ, if it afflicted me 24/7 then it would probably drive me to some form of self-destruction.

    As it stands, from today's perspective I feel perfectly fine - yet I know that later, or tomorrow or at some other point I will feel bleak. It's a strange thing.
    I think that's not uncommon, there are different forms of these illnesses. Some have long durations, some shorter ones. Some return often, some don't.

    I think I know the feeling you're talking about, in the better state you don't want to think about the bad episodes anymore, you don't want to have anything to do with it. At least that's how I read it.

    But you mentioned that you are aware that it will come back... the question is, will you just wait for it to arrive with full force again (and again) or do you want to try something that might lessen the impact?

    One "advantage" of that episodic nature is that in-between the episodes you have the energy to do something about it, take measures against it, etc. Even if you don't feel like it in that mood.

    I feel like I'm pushing you a bit with my advice, sorry if it comes across that way.

    Edited by DrStrangelove at 09:59:04 07-01-2018
  • JoelStinty 14 Jan 2018 17:47:56 6,314 posts
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    Hey guys can i ask whether you guys have had any memory issues relating to anxiety or depression?

    I have had a weird few days where my memory has been playing tricks on me or i don't know whether i am simply overthinking it , as i tend to do, or there is serious underlying problem *yeah dementia my brain says*... or its just natural ageing.

    I was out on Thursday night doing a pub quiz and during the halftime break there is a bingo segment , upon for some reason everyone makes paper aeroplanes out of their tickets if they don't win (yeah don't ask either), and i couldn't make one. I was just staring at the piece of paper and couldn't work out what to do. I mean making a paper aeroplane is like riding a bike right?

    Last night we encountered a problem at work where the network went down and i was trying to explain to my manager on the phone what happened , and i couldn't remember what an extension lead was.

    And today, whilst i didn;t forget anything, everything was jumbled up, or like my body and mind was out of sync, i go to do something but instead , for example going to one computer or till that needed attention, i would edge towards another machine to do it. Kind of like , i was needing to do it as soon as possible before thinking it through.

    I have a tendency to overthink these things and presume the worst, but the paper aeroplane incident scared me a little me. I thought I had been managing my anxiety a lot better - where intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me too much and i started to get new things that were trying to provoke me to obsess over , particulary elements of my health. I went out on friday for a family meal and I had a twenty minute period where i got really clausticphobic and irritable and had to get out of the restaurant ( i didn't, manage to eventually calm myself using breathing techniques) and over the last week and a bit i felt that it was the worst week i have in a few months.

    I just wondered if anyone else has had something similar, or perhaps their is another underlying problem. It seems lately i been getting a lot more physical sensations to do with anxiety, such as palpitations, and digestive problems, which last a week or so, and then disappear. Perhaps this is another form of that? I went to the GP a few weeks back and she did say that it is common for people's body to start to unwind from months or even years of anxiety which bring forth physical aches and pains etc.

    Edited by JoelStinty at 17:50:04 14-01-2018
  • Deleted user 14 January 2018 18:04:36
    Hiya. As someone with no medical credentials whatsoever, you should ignore what I think.

    However, you're still reading, so...

    I'd guess it's stress. Pure and simple. Your mind is thinking of too many things and struggles to disengage from them when you need it too. You then start worrying about the fact you can't rermenber something and your stress gets worse and the problem gets worse... Especially as every little thing is analysed as a sign of dementia. You've probably googled the symptoms of it and are mapping small things to it.

    You could also have a bug as it's hard to think straight when you have. Maybe you're overloaded by "things", including phones, email, social media, computers, texts, bills, work worries, the dark nights, not eating properly etc etc etc.

    You could have dementia, but it's possibly stress and even if it were, worrying will not help. A doctor might, but I think they will ask you about your lifestyle.

    Things that are supposed to help against dementia are exercising, mindfulness, social networks (face to face), learning a language or musical instrument. Try them. You've nothing to lose.

    There's a lot in the media at the moment about dementia and parkinsons and alzheimers (I can never remember how to spell that) and tomorrow is black Monday when we're at our most depressed on average.

    Must admit to feeling a little panicky myself earlier. A long bath and meditation and I'm feeling more myself again. I've let things slide a bit and haven't looked after myself properly.

    Anyway, like I say, I've no qualifications at all in this.
  • JoelStinty 14 Jan 2018 18:24:42 6,314 posts
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    Thanks for that long reply. Much aprpreciated. I think that last sentence is probably more likely with me,with Xmas just gone perhaps I havenít looked after myself as well as I could have, diet wise, excercise etc.

    Typing my original post out as calmed me a little bit and I can see a little clearer. Early night tonight and treat myself better In the next few weeks and see how I go. If this continues Iíll go to the GP again.

    Again, thanks
  • drhcnip 14 Jan 2018 19:26:22 5,995 posts
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    just asked my wife - she's not a gp but is an experienced counsellor, and she says it's very common...

    to paraphrase, you can be in such a state of high alert and hyper-vigilance that the body redirects energies towards the matters you're focusing on with your anxieties - adrenaline and cortisol is released during the 'fight or flight' response so the energy is directed to areas it's needed like muscles etc and away from your cognitive abilities and the hyper-vigilance means that the focus is taken away from the everyday norm, like extension leads and paper aeroplanes...then ,obviously, you become more focused on the things you're forgetting and that raises the anxiety levels again as you become more frustrated at not being able to remember...hope that makes sense, she says it's very common

    i suffered from it a little when i had the breakdown...i still have moments in times of stress now, particularly with recall of some words when speaking...

    she's also pointed out the 'alarming adrenaline' self-help sheet which mentions brain-hijacking...

  • JiveHound 15 Jan 2018 00:28:17 9,423 posts
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    Sounds familiar. I suffer from anxiety and it got worse in the last year, getting to an acute stage for a while. I swear it affects my memory. I struggled to remember the word 'montage' earlier today!

    Even Rocky had a montage. Always fade out in a montag........

    I have been massively tired this week, which probably doesn't help.



    So in my completely uninformed opinion, yeah
  • JoelStinty 15 Jan 2018 06:33:15 6,314 posts
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    Thanks Cnip and Jive. Yeah i think tiredness could be an issue too, i feel like i could do with a break, feel like i need to lock myself away for a day or so to re-charge. Ill see how i go over the next week and take it from there. Just going to try and take everything a bit slower today.
  • JiveHound 15 Jan 2018 07:41:52 9,423 posts
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    No worries, I'm still trying to sleep myself. Been in bed since 2, 5 and a half hours later I'm still awake. I've been trying to knacker myself out by absolutely caning the cycle to and from work to no avail. I can pretty much cycle flat out for half an hour on undulating terrain out of it but it hasn't helped me sleep. :(

    I know it's the anxiety and the doctor has given me mirtazapine to combat it but I ran out 3 days ago and I've not had the chance to go to the chemist to replenish. I didn't think I'd become so reliant on them but here I am 3 days of bollocks all sleep and I look so much older and haggard.

    I have a day off today and I don't know whether to just give up and get up, going through my only day off this week as a zombie or finally get some sleep and waste a day that way. Decisions, decisions. Whatever happens I seriously need to get to the chemist.
  • Deleted user 15 January 2018 07:48:17
    Get some sleep... And don't think of it as a waste.

    Also get off your phone. I banned mine from the bedroom last night. I'm going to see how that goes.

    I really need to get some decent sleep. Just so much to do at home and at work.
  • JiveHound 15 Jan 2018 07:52:50 9,423 posts
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    I need to ban the phone for sure. I'm going to go with trying to sleep. Cheers.
  • mrharvest 15 Jan 2018 12:07:33 5,512 posts
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    When I started taking fluoxetine my short term memory went altogether. It might have been the depression too though. Six months later my memory is still really bad but improving I think.

    I'm currently on my third medication; paroxetin and an actual sleep medication. The sleep medication really helped me after the previous anti-dep made it impossible to sleep more than 2-3 hours before waking up.
  • Deleted user 15 January 2018 19:53:14
    My god I'm in a bad frame of mind today. Feel absolutely low. Think I need to go to bed :(
  • DrStrangelove 15 Jan 2018 20:11:44 12,516 posts
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    I agree with Guybrush that you should never think of sleep as wasted time. Sleep isn't only for regeneration, your brain also sorts shit out while asleep, processing impressions of the day as well as impressions of your life. If your sleeping habits go overboard, that's reason for concern, but first of all it's time spent as well as time awake.

    I also caution against dismissing dreams as random shit. Dreams are incredibly ingenious at finding metaphors for the subconscious/unconscious stuff you're not aware of when awake. They don't tell the future or any such crap, but they can give you hints about what is really bothering you inside.

    edit: However, in my experience, dreaming after drinking actually is random crap. When your brain isn't intoxicated however, they're very worthy of your attention.

    Edited by DrStrangelove at 20:14:45 15-01-2018
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