Following Depression Page 222

  • quadfather 14 Feb 2018 16:02:06 31,040 posts
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    drhcnip wrote:
    well done, sir - it is important to be able to build an effective relationship with the counsellor

    likelihood, unless you;ve done it over the phone consultation already, is that the first session will partially serve as the assessment to explore where you currently feel you are

    that's an excellent analogy you've used, i'd bring that up in your session

    best of luck with it, quaddy - thf is right, it can be one of the hardest but, in the end, the best things you can do...
    Thanks. Yes, the first thing my sister mentioned (also a counselor) is that the relationship has to be good with the counselor. I have to be able to trust her fully. And vice versa.

    Yes, the idea next is to have a face to face and take it from there.

    I just wish I knew what type of game that it's called - I'd put money on the counselor not knowing what the fuck I'm on about :)

    Yes, all the people I've spoken to that have had different types of counseling have all said it helps, so while it's daunting, I'm also looking forward to it.

    Starts next Thursday, so will see.
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2018 16:02:47 31,040 posts
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    @Stickman

    Cheers, and yes, I'll keep trying as it's pretty fucking annoying now in general all the time.
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2018 16:03:31 31,040 posts
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    drhcnip wrote:
    and, if you have any general questions about the counselling process or what to expect, ping me a pm - wife's a counsellor...which proved to be very useful when i had the breakdown and was waiting for the therapy...;)
    I'll bear that in mind, cheers :)
  • mrpon 14 Feb 2018 16:05:48 34,359 posts
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    This quad?



    Good luck with it btw.
  • drhcnip 14 Feb 2018 16:13:53 5,995 posts
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    quadfather wrote:
    drhcnip wrote:
    and, if you have any general questions about the counselling process or what to expect, ping me a pm - wife's a counsellor...which proved to be very useful when i had the breakdown and was waiting for the therapy...;)
    I'll bear that in mind, cheers :)
    doesn't sound like you'll need it, having one in the family...;) offer's there anyway

    all the best with it, mate - worked for me in the end, once i found one i clicked with...
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2018 16:23:21 31,040 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    This quad?



    Good luck with it btw.
    That's the one!

    And cheers
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2018 16:24:09 31,040 posts
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    drhcnip wrote:
    quadfather wrote:
    drhcnip wrote:
    and, if you have any general questions about the counselling process or what to expect, ping me a pm - wife's a counsellor...which proved to be very useful when i had the breakdown and was waiting for the therapy...;)
    I'll bear that in mind, cheers :)
    doesn't sound like you'll need it, having one in the family...;) offer's there anyway

    all the best with it, mate - worked for me in the end, once i found one i clicked with...
    Yeah, that's the other thing - it might take a few different people before i click with them. I did think of that, but will see how it goes. Gotta start somewhere
  • drhcnip 14 Feb 2018 16:29:52 5,995 posts
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    @quadfather

    exactly...
  • Deleted user 15 February 2018 11:17:48
    Post deleted
  • drhcnip 15 Feb 2018 14:12:29 5,995 posts
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    @GuybrushThreepwood

    hope you're ok, pal
  • Deleted user 15 February 2018 14:26:14
    Post deleted
  • quadfather 15 Feb 2018 14:28:01 31,040 posts
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    Doesn't matter what they think - you've got a migraine and are off sick.
  • drhcnip 15 Feb 2018 14:37:32 5,995 posts
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    quadfather wrote:
    Doesn't matter what they think - you've got a migraine and are off sick.
    this

    anyone who's had a migraine knows what fuckers they are...i've never suffered, luckily but wife's had a few...
  • Deleted user 15 February 2018 16:24:40
    Post deleted
  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 15:46:02 31,614 posts
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    Ok.

    So I have self-reffered to bereavement counselling in brighton (Cruse). I cannot keep falling apart whenever the shops put easter eggs up.

    I have also requested that Crisis refer me to Pavillions, as I have a habit of using alcohol as an emotional crutch during times of severe anxiety.
  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 15:46:49 31,614 posts
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    Admitting that I might need help with alcohol was so fucking hard.
  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 15:51:25 31,614 posts
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    Cruse said there is a 10 week waiting list. But apparently the Samaritans are diversifying and will now do weekly outbound calls.
  • Armoured_Bear 6 Mar 2018 17:04:08 22,177 posts
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    spamdangled wrote:
    Ok.

    So I have self-reffered to bereavement counselling in brighton (Cruse). I cannot keep falling apart whenever the shops put easter eggs up.

    I have also requested that Crisis refer me to Pavillions, as I have a habit of using alcohol as an emotional crutch during times of severe anxiety.
    I don’t understand, how do you “self-refer” and why request to be referred ?
    Don’t you just call up both places to see someone ?
  • mal 6 Mar 2018 17:08:03 29,326 posts
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    That's what a self-referral is. Some places don't let you do that though, and instead require you to go through your GP or somewhere to keep out timewasters.
  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 17:41:54 31,614 posts
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    Mal gets it.
  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 17:48:04 31,614 posts
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    @mal

    Cheer mate.
  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 17:55:48 31,614 posts
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    @Armoured_Bear

    So basically, if you have a breakdown you will be placed in Crisis Home Management and Resolution. They come and visit you at home every day until a long term plan of reovery is in place.

    They will then suggest other services. Many of those are in the third sector, and you need to self-refer by calling them yourself.

    They ask a lot of questions, including who told you to call them and if you are under the care of mental health. Its a bit of a process.

    Many of these services, such as bereavement, alcohol and drugs, autism etc are charities and not part of nhs. So you either self refer or are referred to them (depends on the org) by the nhs. It would be great if the nhs had all this, but kt doesnt so it relies on charities.

    Edited by spamdangled at 18:00:36 06-03-2018

    Edited by spamdangled at 18:24:38 06-03-2018
  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 18:32:19 31,614 posts
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    Im kind of freaking out because dad died at easyer 2016. I had a love/hate relationship with him, bit as much as he pissed me off I still loved him.

    The shops put the eģgs on shelves, and I freak out
  • quadfather 6 Mar 2018 18:42:17 31,040 posts
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    @spamdangled

    How is the counseling going for you? Funnily enough, yesterday I had my second session with my counselor for bereavement / grief / depression issues.

    Still getting my head round it at the moment. I.e. what the actual problem is. One thing that was floated in the air was what kind of person (or even who) I am now going forward without my parents in the world. Well, I say both but it's only my dad that's died physically. My mum is now an Alzheimer's zombie and isn't my mum. Which may be interfering with stage 2 of grieving which is moving on. Which I can't. Because she's still alive. But not.

    Pint.
  • FuzzyDucky 6 Mar 2018 18:46:39 3,164 posts
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    Anniversaries are bollocks. My Dad died on the run up to Christmas, so that reminds me of the time, my Mum in the middle of summer so long evenings and sunshine used to set me off.

    The trick is to take away its power. Don't acknowledge it. Why would we want to remember that particular day. Remember the good shit that they did, not the day of their passing.

    I used to feel like shit on their birthdays too, now I celebrate their life instead.
  • quadfather 6 Mar 2018 19:04:09 31,040 posts
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    @FuzzyDucky

    Yes true. I talk and think about the memories I had with them which is good.

    The thing I'm struggling with now is exactly who I am now, moving forward. Except I can't move forward very easily because of my mum. So the limbo loop starts up again. Existing not living etc
  • quadfather 6 Mar 2018 19:05:44 31,040 posts
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    In fact, I'm not even sure there's any problem at all - just a shitty set of circumstances that is simply going to take time to plough through.
  • Deleted user 6 March 2018 19:13:40
    I'm seeing my counselor on Thursday. Quite possibly the last time I'll see her but will see how it goes. It's been a great help and I'm in a much better place. Well I'm better equipped to handle with the hard, challenging times ahead. We'll all get there one day :)
  • Deleted user 6 March 2018 19:22:51
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  • spamdangled 6 Mar 2018 19:39:07 31,614 posts
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