Depression Page 240

  • GoatApocalypse 11 Nov 2018 13:16:44 5,137 posts
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    Badly!

    I try to keep this quote from The Alchemist in my mind:

    'Everyone believes the world's greatest lie...' says the mysterious old man. ... 'at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie.

    Ultimately, we're in control of our lives. Sometimes we may not have as much control as we want, but we always have choices.

    I think the hard part is being able to make the time to reflect on what we really want. Then having the courage to pursue it is another matter.

    Edited by GoatApocalypse at 13:18:46 11-11-2018
  • Banyans 11 Nov 2018 14:30:38 467 posts
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    I will try and keep that in mind! Itís a good quote, I guess Iím just worried Iím feeling down and if I make huge life choices now Iíll regret it later.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 11 Nov 2018 15:12:13 459 posts
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    Some things I've found helped with worry have been getting enough rest (I can be a right mess if I don't get enough sleep), practice of mindfulness so I keep focused more on the moment and most recently my diet. The latter has made a huge difference in how I feel after a year of eating way too many ready meals.

    I've been reading a lot about gut health and the effect it has on us. 90% of the body's seretonin is made in the gut for instance and the good bugs that are in there are sensitive to what we eat and they like all the things I don't like such as fibre and fresh food which takes ages to buy and cook.

    Also I'm doing cbt trig my doctor and learning (slowly) to focus on what's important in my life (so less Internet and gaming) and more on what makes me genuinely happy. That and not allowing emotions to dictate my behaviour.

    Anyway, I've got chores to do. Later.
  • fontgeeksogood 11 Nov 2018 15:42:44 4,280 posts
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    Other than medications which I won't go into, for me a lot of the answer of when I get trapped inside my own skull I try to do something physically taxing
  • GoatApocalypse 11 Nov 2018 15:50:28 5,137 posts
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    @Banyans

    It's really hard to do, but making the time to reflect honestly with yourself about what's getting you down and what the potential solutions are is key.

    I tend to reach for big solutions first but they're not always the right ones.
  • AddyJB 11 Nov 2018 15:54:54 689 posts
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    Exercise certainly is a big one. I have to do more to get my diabetes and other stuff under control but it also works wonders for mental health.
  • JamboWayOh 12 Nov 2018 00:12:43 10,723 posts
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    Not sure if this is the place to post this but I rarely use Facebook any more and I've just seen that a fellow teacher, that I knew back in Vietnam, took his own life. I'd met him several times and while we didn't know each other well enough well to be friends he was always such a lovely guy and I instantly warmed to him. Its properly thrown me more so because everyone liked him and he was always so happy that I can't get my head around it. I'm just rambling now, but fuck me its made me start thinking about my choices in life and relationships that I've messed up.

    I've never really used this thread but last year was a pretty bad year for me and I went through a pretty bad state of depression coupled with some serious anger issues. I finally got some help through therapy, albeit 6 months after I asked for it, and since leaving England for a new job I'm slowly getting back to who I was, but after this guy's passing I worry that I could slip back into that darkness. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but I just had to get it out somewhere.
  • askew 12 Nov 2018 00:25:47 18,215 posts
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    Nah man. We got you.
  • JamboWayOh 12 Nov 2018 00:38:42 10,723 posts
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    @askew

    Thanks man. Apologies for the rambling.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 12 Nov 2018 06:50:57 459 posts
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    I think this thread is best for rambling to be honest.

    I've known a mate who rang me to go to the pictures. I said no and he hung himself that night and left a note saying he was lonely. I had another mate who was an incredible guy, full of life, a black belt in kung fu etc and one day I was told he'd been killed in a quarry accident. I couldn't believe it for a long time as he was my best friend at one time.

    Both made me question my life and choices like you're doing. Both were sad and I grieved for both. Don't confuse grief which is healthy and normal with depression, they're not the same though they feel like it at times.

    As for messed up relationships, we've all done that I think. I had one in particular I still think back to at times, but then I think that they led me to become who I am and where I am and where I am could be an awful lot worse. We all have regrets and what if moments. We're lucky that we've woken up this morning and can make a whole bunch of new choices. Some we might regret and pick over in the future (our brains have a negativity bias which is why we do) and some we won't and they'll make us happy. That's what life is. If you get more of the latter then you're doing okay.

    I'm sorry about your friend. Don't over think your grief. It's normal. Look after yourself and keep doing what helped take you out of the darkness. Look forward and not back as you can't change any of that shit.

    Take care.
  • captain-Snufkin 12 Nov 2018 07:24:02 764 posts
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    @Guybrush

    You first "mate" sounds like an utter disgrace of a human being.

    Edited by captain-Snufkin at 07:26:33 12-11-2018
  • challenge_hanukkah 12 Nov 2018 07:28:49 9,245 posts
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    captain-Snufkin wrote:
    @Guybrush

    You first "mate" sounds like an utter disgrace of a human being.
    Fuck off.
  • Frogofdoom 12 Nov 2018 07:32:58 11,228 posts
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    Yeah for fucks sake snufkin, you can't even cite being drunk for that one.
  • captain-Snufkin 12 Nov 2018 07:39:52 764 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    captain-Snufkin wrote:
    @Guybrush

    You first "mate" sounds like an utter disgrace of a human being.
    Fuck off.
    What? intentionally trying to screw someone over mentally is sick, no matter how ill you are.

    Sounds similar to the guy who committed suicide by driving into oncoming traffic taking a woman and child with him.
  • Blackmarsh63 12 Nov 2018 07:40:51 1,916 posts
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    captain-Snufkin wrote:
    @Guybrush

    You first "mate" sounds like an utter disgrace of a human being.
    :eek:
  • Derblington 12 Nov 2018 07:47:52 31,229 posts
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    I think you may have interpreted that note incorrectly.
    People don't hang themselves over one night of boredom.
  • GoatApocalypse 12 Nov 2018 08:31:59 5,137 posts
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    @JamboWayOh

    Sorry to hear that fella.

    I've found this place really helpful and non-judgemental in the main. It's easier to be open and honest online, I guess, and people are generally really receptive to talking.

    Anyhoo, if an anonymous internet stranger can help, you're always free to DM me.
  • JamboWayOh 12 Nov 2018 08:50:22 10,723 posts
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    @GuybrushFreepwood

    Thanks for the kind words and advice and also thanks to Goat Apocalypse for the kind offer. I find it very difficult to express my issues and generally bottle things up.

    Also, ignore the arse abscess that is Snufkin, I'm slowly beginning to realise he may be a total arse.
  • captain-Snufkin 12 Nov 2018 08:59:44 764 posts
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    You are slow, I've always been a tit.
  • challenge_hanukkah 12 Nov 2018 09:04:31 9,245 posts
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    captain-Snufkin wrote:
    You are slow, I've always been a tit.
    That's becoming abundantly clear.
  • JamboWayOh 12 Nov 2018 09:06:45 10,723 posts
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    captain-Snufkin wrote:
    You are slow, I've always been a tit.
    I think you need to go away now.
  • captain-Snufkin 12 Nov 2018 09:35:52 764 posts
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    Fine. I don't know why but you're all miserable in this thread anyway.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 12 Nov 2018 09:51:51 459 posts
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    So... that's what the "ignore button" is for.

    Anyway, my friend was about 17. We'd both left school shortly before and neither of us had that many friends. It's a time of life where - in addition to lots of hormones floating around trying to turn you into an adult - you have a load of real world changes and fears to deal with and have suddenly lost all your support.

    Also, this was back in the days before the internet and mobile phones. I didn't know he'd hung himself immediately and I didn't know about the note for some time later. I never saw the note either, so all I know is that "he left a note saying he had no friends and was lonely". I didn't take it as aimed at "me", though I was his main friend and I have since realised that even if I had gone to the pictures with him that night, he would possibly have done it later. It's sad and did give me a few "what if" moments over the years, but that unfortunately is life.

    Point was, it obviously made me feel down afterwards, which is quite normal and not depression. I was just trying to relate to Jambo and not start something.
  • Tomo 12 Nov 2018 10:18:45 16,239 posts
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    Where's craggy when he's needed
  • sirtacos 13 Nov 2018 11:23:05 8,074 posts
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    This weekend one my best friends and ex girlfriend carved into her arm with a pair of scissors during a suicidal meltdown after her friend managed to wrest a kitchen knife from her grasp.

    Got the call while she was being dragged into an ambulance by a pair of cops.

    After she was discharged from hospital, her psychiatrist, who she had been seeing for a bit for depression, diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder.

    To complicate things my current girlfriend is understandably a bit jealous. I want to support my friend but I also have to confront the fact that my relationship with my ex, with whom I share a dog and who I basically consider a family member at this point (and sometimes have lunch or see a movie with) is unusual, as well as hurtful and unfair to my current SO. I don't know what to do.

    (Ex & I were together for the better part of a decade.)

    Also my dog is sick and there's nothing I can do while I wait for his test results, a young dog and a cat got euthanised at work on Monday while their owners wept, then in the same day another dog got diagnosed with untreatable cancer, and I just realised that due to new visa/residency conditions I might have to consider packing up and starting life over somewhere else.

    Also I tragically overcooked my pasta

    Edited by sirtacos at 14:50:04 13-11-2018
  • Armoured_Bear 13 Nov 2018 14:11:35 25,100 posts
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    captain-Snufkin wrote:
    @Guybrush

    You first "mate" sounds like an utter disgrace of a human being.
    No, that would be you.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 13 Nov 2018 22:22:21 459 posts
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    Anyone who is wanting to get into mindfulness in the form of the headspace app, you can get it for £30 a year rather than £72. This is by joining anxietyuk which costs £30 and come with a "free" headspace subscription.

    Learnt this on my course last week.
  • Rusty_M 13 Nov 2018 22:49:20 6,910 posts
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    Depressive thoughts being more prevalent this year than usual. It's very tiring. Just another storm to hopefully ride out. It's stopping most of the interactions I don't absolutely have to have to live a normal life.
  • quadfather 23 Nov 2018 12:48:07 33,567 posts
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    Not so much depression as sadness at the moment. My mum has had a really bad fall in the care home and my sister is having to take her to the hospital for an x-ray. My mum hasn't stepped foot out of the home in 3 years with her severe Alzheimer's. Sister says it's a nightmare so far - mum refusing to go, holding onto things to try and not leave, completely upset and confused as fuck, lashing out at my sister who she hasn't a clue about anymore.

    It's just bringing it all hammering home to when it all happened and now my late dad is on my mind as well as he died just when she was put in the home. Really hits hard when it wants to. Makes me feel really out of touch with the world and very emotional.

    It's always at fucking Christmas time too. Every damn fucking time :-(

    Just needed to get it out.
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