Random rants that don't warrant their own threads Page 427

  • Deleted user 13 February 2018 09:22:22
    thelzdking wrote:
    Only viable option is sex change and move to Thailand and become a ladyboy.

    /this

    Who needs the Dalai Lama when we've wisdom like this on EG?

    :)
  • DukeSilver 13 Feb 2018 09:28:41 3,208 posts
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    I was going to post something very similar to cov although I was going to say that a series of small cock ups may lead to your cock up another woman.

    It's flattering to get attention from another woman and having a passing (or lingering) fantasy about them isn't particularly unusual. What happened last week made it more complicated but, against the general advice, you confronted it head on and it sounds like you've made things worse.

    Ask yourself why you're doing the things you're doing and what you're hoping to achieve from it. Is it just a passing thing, in which case stop messing around and get over it, or is it showing a fundamental problem with your marriage. If it is you need to sort that out.

    Edited by DukeSilver at 09:39:20 13-02-2018
  • GarlVinland 13 Feb 2018 09:35:01 3,028 posts
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    Are your kids gamers and is there a chance they are reading this right now?
  • Fake_Blood 13 Feb 2018 09:41:37 8,516 posts
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    Best thing to do is have a wank and see how you feel about this woman 20 seconds after said wank. It works for me whenever I start thinking about my ex.
  • RandolphCarter 13 Feb 2018 10:56:27 555 posts
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    I speak from experience with these things: I am married with children, but had a two-year affair with a colleague.

    It ended when she left the country.

    What you are describing is a form of self-deluded denial. You clearly want her, so why lie to yourself and to others? I can tell you now, an affair is both the best and the worst form of relationships. It’s exciting, taboo, highly-emotional and thrilling. It is also incredibly stressful, filled with jealousy from ALL angles (don’t think your spouse won’t notice that something is up, they will) and turns you into a Jekyll and Hyde character.

    Like you, I was confused at first. She was 23 and incredibly attractive, I was 30 – boring, wife and kids and stuck in a rut. It started off as a friendship with very mild flirting. Team nights out with alcohol made things more confusing, until one night it was just me and her in a bar when the rest of the team went home. She made the first move, I denied her – but did NOT want to stop her. From there she would coincide her lunch breaks with me, we would email each other constantly and then that turned to personal instant messaging. I told my wife that she made a move on me, and I promised to remain only friends with her – this was my first lie. I wanted her more than anything in the world, and basically walked with eyes wide open into an affair.

    It was brilliant, but almost destroyed everything I have. My wife found my emails and…..pictures.

    It genuinely improved my relationship at first. I confessed everything, and my wife took part of the blame (the marriage went off the boil a good few years ago) – but my wife’s understandable insecurity is now a thorn in the side of my marriage.

    You have two choices: go for an affair and accept ALL repercussions (including possibly losing everything), or deny yourself ALL contact with that woman and live with eternal uncertainty about what you want. It’s either/or – there can be no in between.
  • Armoured_Bear 13 Feb 2018 11:02:35 22,179 posts
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    @RandolphCarter
    You took dirty pics, not the brightest, are you?
  • mrpon 13 Feb 2018 11:16:50 34,364 posts
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    Well, he is Randy.
  • JamboWayOh 13 Feb 2018 11:29:25 6,743 posts
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    Soooooo...do those pics still exist? Asking for a friend.
  • DukeSilver 13 Feb 2018 11:41:48 3,208 posts
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    Armoured_Bear wrote:
    @RandolphCarter
    You took dirty pics, not the brightest, are you?
    Tips should go in the "How to have an affair" thread.
  • macmurphy 13 Feb 2018 11:43:20 3,042 posts
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    Looks like Mr Carter has the best nailed on experience, I'd only echo what he said about you walking into it with your eyes open.

    Turn it around. Imagine it from your wife's point of view. This girl knew you had a wife and family and she was willing to hazard all that, regardless of the repercussions involved. Imagine a guy was trying to do that to your wife, and then she said she wanted to be friends with him. I think you'd be legitimately pissed.

    You need to just decide in your head if this is worth flushing your marriage down the pipe for. And I'm not judging you if that's the case; my parents stayed together for us kids long after it was clear their marriage was on the outs. You only have one life, this girl might be the one for you. Probably better for everyone, including your kids, if you make that decision and can be a happy present person as opposed to bringing them up in an unhappy marriage.

    But if that's not what you want, you need to make her get to fuck and the best way of doing that is blanking her. And as someone said, have a wank and then make the decision. I find we men only really make good decisions when our spuds are drained. Also try to remember why you fell in love with your wife to start with. It's really easy to forget that, when they become mothers and some of the romance goes out of the relationship. This might be a good chance to address that and come out stronger as a couple.

    If you try and stay friends with this girl, you might not cheat today, you might not cheat in a month. But sooner or later you'll have an argument with your wife and this lass will come sniffing around and you're going to end up repainting the disabled loos with a fine white gloss.

    Either way, I'd also really like to see these pictures Mr Carter. Just to check, like.

    Edited by macmurphy at 11:44:39 13-02-2018
  • RandolphCarter 13 Feb 2018 12:20:49 555 posts
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    Very wise words, Macmurphy. The "staying together for the kids" is something I can strongly relate to - it's why I didn't leave this country and follow her abroad.

    In truth, everyone has a vice - for some it's gluttony, for others it is avarice. For me it is lust - plain and simple.

    My biggest mistake that led to the affair was "befriending" a woman when there was mutual attraction there. Once you feel that heat, that chemistry then a true friendship is impossible because you both want something more.

    I think had we just been physical in the first few months of knowing one another we would have fizzled out once the novelty passed. Foolishly we became emotionally intimate *first* - this made the physical involvement both inevitable and much more difficult to let go of. Basically, we fell in love.

    Pandora's box (figuratively speaking *wink, wink*) is now open, I have now crossed the sacred boundary in my marriage - so me cheating again is much, much more likely.

    And in regards to the pictures, I would never share them if I had them. I may be a cheating scoundrel, but I am NOT a bastard ;)

    But yes, I am dominated by lust - it's one of my primary motivations. It's my ultimate drug. I could forsake good food and fine clothes. But women? Never. Genuinely, it's like an addiction.
  • GarlVinland 13 Feb 2018 13:19:02 3,028 posts
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    This is nothing like what I'd expect from a video games forum.
  • DrStrangelove 13 Feb 2018 13:23:45 12,518 posts
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    What did you expect, bonobos?
  • GarlVinland 13 Feb 2018 13:26:21 3,028 posts
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    Tips on Monster Hunter please. It's so bloody difficult!
  • Deleted user 13 February 2018 13:30:57
    Have you looked at the front page? About half of the topics have got screw all to do with gaming, so no surprise to me tbh. Gaming is a part of our lives, but only a part.
  • GarlVinland 13 Feb 2018 13:34:11 3,028 posts
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    Well my most viewed thread is the Match.com one, so it's meant somewhat ironically. :)
  • wobbly_Bob 13 Feb 2018 13:35:05 4,450 posts
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    There's a video game I really want but I'm already playing with another game. I'm thinking of playing with both of them but not sure I should.
  • Khanivor 13 Feb 2018 13:44:11 43,753 posts
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    Thread delivers.

    I kinda want Goat to start telling us about his adventures in the disabled bogs so it can keep delivering.
  • DukeSilver 13 Feb 2018 13:52:50 3,208 posts
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    wobbly_Bob wrote:
    There's a video game I really want but I'm already playing with another game. I'm thinking of playing with both of them but not sure I should.
    My advice would be to stick with the one your playing. Act like you don't have the other one. The worst thing you could do is start playing around with it on Monday morning when you're away from the other game.
  • Rusty_M 13 Feb 2018 13:54:19 6,830 posts
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    I've been friends when there's been a mutual attraction...but I'm one of those weirdos who's friends with his exes, so probably a bad example.
  • minky-kong 13 Feb 2018 13:57:23 13,563 posts
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    DukeSilver wrote:
    wobbly_Bob wrote:
    There's a video game I really want but I'm already playing with another game. I'm thinking of playing with both of them but not sure I should.
    My advice would be to stick with the one your playing. Act like you don't have the other one. The worst thing you could do is start playing around with it on Monday morning when you're away from the other game.
    Rubbish advice. If the other game is on the Switch or a handheld take it to the disabled bogs to play with it. It's not cheating if its in the disabled toilets.
  • GarlVinland 13 Feb 2018 13:57:52 3,028 posts
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    Rusty_M wrote:
    I've been friends when there's been a mutual attraction...but I'm one of those weirdos who's friends with his exes, so probably a bad example.
    Is that weird, though? Seems like everyone I know is, I'm the weirdo for not being friends.
  • Rusty_M 13 Feb 2018 13:59:43 6,830 posts
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    I suppose it frequently depends on how the relationship ended. It does involve a friendship where mutual attraction is all but assured, though.
  • Salaman 13 Feb 2018 14:19:11 23,053 posts
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    Armoured_Bear wrote:
    GoatApocalypse wrote:
    Jokes aside? Won't happen. I'd like to be able to tell you it's because I'm a man of willpower and principle but the truth is I'm far too much of a coward, with far too much to lose.
    So you're just going to use her to stroke your ego for a while? ok
    It won't be just his ego.
    This started off in the right direction.

    "Colleague drunkenly tried to kiss me, I confessed this to the wife and that will be then end of it."

    Then came the "I have a crush" and "we talked about it and the crush is mutual but we're just going to friends and no meeting up outside work"

    ALARM BELLS! LOUD NOISES!

    You do not need to be friends with the woman who wants to get in your pants, especially not if it's mutual. And "OK but no meeting outside of work!" is the sort of stuff 2 people agree on who are dying to get together outside of work and will do so at the first opportunity.

    It's the same as saying "OK but only one!" you know it's not going to be only one.

    Some sound advise provided so far. Evaluate your current relationship and where that's at and where you'd like to to be at. Then put in the work to get it there or if not, cut loose and face the consequences.
  • GoatApocalypse 13 Feb 2018 17:29:47 3,843 posts
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    @cov I appreciate it. Sounds stupid and immature, but it's hard to see the woods for the trees.
  • GoatApocalypse 13 Feb 2018 17:30:21 3,843 posts
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    @Salaman cheers pal.
  • phAge 13 Feb 2018 17:41:11 25,487 posts
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    Goat: The fact that you didn't realize that you had a "massive crush" on this bird *before* she tried to drunkenly snog you should tell you everything you need to know about where your feelings are coming from:

    She wants you, and it feels fucking awesome.

    This is what you're now mistaking for actual, genuine feelings. It's not, and if you act like it is it'll mess up your life for possibly, well, life.

    Harden the fuck up, recognise that it is nice feeling wanted by a stranger, but that is all it is. It's not unusual, in fact I dare say most of us have been there, but you're an idiot if you can't tell lust from love.

    (Do people still say "snog"? Picked it up from old UK Amiga magazines in the 90's, but never see it used...).
  • Vortex808 13 Feb 2018 17:59:10 12,261 posts
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    phAge wrote:
    Goat: The fact that you didn't realize that you had a "massive crush" on this bird *before* she tried to drunkenly snog you should tell you everything you need to know about where your feelings are coming from:

    She wants you, and it feels fucking awesome.

    This is what you're now mistaking for actual, genuine feelings. It's not, and if you act like it is it'll mess up your life for possibly, well, life.

    Harden the fuck up, recognise that it is nice feeling wanted by a stranger, but that is all it is. It's not unusual, in fact I dare say most of us have been there, but you're an idiot if you can't tell lust from love.

    (Do people still say "snog"? Picked it up from old UK Amiga magazines in the 90's, but never see it used...).
    pHAge may not know which component cables go where, but he knows what's up!

    ;-)

    Edited by Vortex808 at 17:59:38 13-02-2018
  • Stickman 13 Feb 2018 18:05:51 29,970 posts
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    I say fuck the 23 year old. Your wife might not even find out but if she does, you’ve just fucked a 23 year old.
  • Fake_Blood 13 Feb 2018 18:06:23 8,516 posts
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    I think goat was already planning on hardening up anyway.
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