Random rants that don't warrant their own threads Page 469

  • fontgeeksogood 28 Dec 2018 06:59:48 6,052 posts
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    Piss isn't sterile, it's a myth. Sorry if that impinges on your water sports fun
  • challenge_hanukkah 28 Dec 2018 07:12:43 10,729 posts
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    It's OK if you brush your teeth straight after

    Edited by challenge_hanukkah at 07:12:52 28-12-2018
  • fontgeeksogood 28 Dec 2018 07:17:01 6,052 posts
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    With a turd
  • thelzdking 12 Jan 2019 08:05:48 9,355 posts
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    You know what can fuck off? Dinner parties. Waiting about three hours for a tiny portion of godawful food. Having to ask/answer loads of boring questions about work or whatever. Drinking a glass of horrid wine when what you really need about ten beers to block out the whole debacle. Not being able to stare at the telly and ignore the inane ramblings of the barely tolerable halfwits that surround you.

    Meals.at other people's houses should involve close friends, a takeaway, heavy drinking and perhaps a sporting event or something.
  • THFourteen 12 Jan 2019 08:46:14 51,946 posts
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    @thelzdking

    Jesus

    My wife used to have loads of friends nearby who liked to have dinner parties. Glad they all moved away.

    Oh and the worst thing was eventually itís your turn to host and then you canít get rid of the fuckers from your house until like 1am.
  • thelzdking 12 Jan 2019 09:27:35 9,355 posts
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    @THFourteen

    Yup. If it's our turn I try and make it a barbeque. Always seems the least worst way.
  • Dougs 12 Jan 2019 10:21:57 89,138 posts
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    Ha, a group of my wife's friends tried to get the whole dinner party scene going. I was not a fan. Eventually it became clear that despite being nice and all, I had nothing in common with the other blokes and it became a mums only thing. Thank fuck. Then I moved house and have drunken impromptu gatherings with neighbours, which sometimes involve food but mostly booze and games of poker/cards against humanity. Much more my style.
  • GoatApocalypse 12 Jan 2019 11:09:43 5,650 posts
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    You think you've got problems? It's my boy's 5th birthday party today and I'll have a house full of other people's children to contend with.
  • SambaApe 12 Jan 2019 11:16:46 1,296 posts
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    @GoatApocalypse Hope youíve got a cellar.
  • GoatApocalypse 12 Jan 2019 11:19:43 5,650 posts
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    @SambaApe

    :(

    Edited by GoatApocalypse at 11:19:56 12-01-2019
  • challenge_hanukkah 12 Jan 2019 11:32:00 10,729 posts
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    SambaApe wrote:
    @GoatApocalypse Hope youíve got a cellar.
    Is ecosse invited?
  • JamboWayOh 12 Jan 2019 11:34:46 13,158 posts
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    GoatApocalypse wrote:
    You think you've got problems? It's my boy's 5th birthday party today and I'll have a house full of other people's children to contend with.
    You just know one of them will either shit themselves or vomit everywhere. Maybe both.
  • freddymercurystwin 12 Jan 2019 11:47:27 1,644 posts
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    thelzdking wrote:
    You know what can fuck off? Dinner parties. Waiting about three hours for a tiny portion of godawful food. Having to ask/answer loads of boring questions about work or whatever. Drinking a glass of horrid wine when what you really need about ten beers to block out the whole debacle. Not being able to stare at the telly and ignore the inane ramblings of the barely tolerable halfwits that surround you.

    Meals.at other people's houses should involve close friends, a takeaway, heavy drinking and perhaps a sporting event or something.
    You lot are all doing it wrong, we frequently go and host 'dinner parties' any boring guests will not be anything to do with it and there's always plenty of booze, had three bottles of prosseco to myself on one recently, wife was not impressed, the hosts didn't mind at all but then they keep all their kids up till god knows when and one is severely autistic, it's chaos but good fun.
  • You-can-call-me-kal 12 Jan 2019 12:19:55 15,733 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    GoatApocalypse wrote:
    You think you've got problems? It's my boy's 5th birthday party today and I'll have a house full of other people's children to contend with.
    You just know one of them will either shit themselves or vomit everywhere. Maybe both.
    5 is also the point where parents start leaving them there without staying as well, so thatís fun.
  • GoatApocalypse 12 Jan 2019 12:27:57 5,650 posts
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    @You-can-call-me-kal

    Not in this house it's fucking not
  • thelzdking 12 Jan 2019 19:44:49 9,355 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    GoatApocalypse wrote:
    You think you've got problems? It's my boy's 5th birthday party today and I'll have a house full of other people's children to contend with.
    You just know one of them will either shit themselves or vomit everywhere. Maybe both.
    I wish that happened at dinner parties.
  • challenge_hanukkah 12 Jan 2019 19:54:44 10,729 posts
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    It can if you spike the vichyssoise with syrup of ipecac.
  • thelzdking 12 Jan 2019 20:22:04 9,355 posts
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    It'd liven things up a bit.
  • JamboWayOh 12 Jan 2019 20:24:13 13,158 posts
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    thelzdking wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:
    GoatApocalypse wrote:
    You think you've got problems? It's my boy's 5th birthday party today and I'll have a house full of other people's children to contend with.
    You just know one of them will either shit themselves or vomit everywhere. Maybe both.
    I wish that happened at dinner parties.
    You haven't been at the right dinner parties mate. Are the people in NZ that boring or is it just the people you have to be around?
  • Dougs 12 Jan 2019 20:28:35 89,138 posts
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    You-can-call-me-kal wrote:

    5 is also the point where parents start leaving them there without staying as well, so thatís fun.
    Standard seems to be about 7 down here. Also the sort of age where the numbers drop and you do an activity like bowling etc rather than all out chaos.
  • thelzdking 12 Jan 2019 20:42:31 9,355 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    thelzdking wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:
    GoatApocalypse wrote:
    You think you've got problems? It's my boy's 5th birthday party today and I'll have a house full of other people's children to contend with.
    You just know one of them will either shit themselves or vomit everywhere. Maybe both.
    I wish that happened at dinner parties.
    You haven't been at the right dinner parties mate. Are the people in NZ that boring or is it just the people you have to be around?
    I think it's the people I have to be around. Plus the whole standing on ceremony in someone else's house for meals and whatnot. TBH a fun social gathering for me is a lot more party than dinner. I'm a very casual person and would just prefer a booze-up with people I know well enough to just chat shit with.
  • JamboWayOh 12 Jan 2019 20:55:26 13,158 posts
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    @thelzdking

    Ahhh the classic small talk pleasantries with people you don't actually have a lot in common apart your partners. It's almost like a grown up play date arranged by your partners who think you'll get on with her friend's boyfriend because he said he likes that game with footballs or cars or some shit like that.
  • JamboWayOh 12 Jan 2019 20:58:40 13,158 posts
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    Also there's always one cunt at a dinner who absolutely loves the sound of their own voice and you have to sit there while they regale everyone and you sit and stare into space automatically rasing your eyebrows in autopilot to feign interest. Obviously you can tell I've been in this situation before.
  • challenge_hanukkah 12 Jan 2019 21:08:32 10,729 posts
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    I avoid all this by not having any friends.
  • thelzdking 12 Jan 2019 21:12:40 9,355 posts
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    Yup. It's not helped by the fact that my misanthropic streak is brought out by the kind of hand-wringing conversations you have. If I've had a few in one of these situations then I have a tendency to go all contrarian, or to put people right if they're talking shite. Then I look like a cunt (rightfully so too).
  • Nanocrystal 18 Jan 2019 04:11:46 1,852 posts
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    When you're eating your way around an apple and the bit you started on has already gone brown by the time you get back to it.
  • Salaman 18 Jan 2019 08:27:56 23,614 posts
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    Nanocrystal wrote:
    When you're eating your way around an apple and the bit you started on has already gone brown by the time you get back to it.
    That's not very ranty. Come on, put some rage into it.
  • Fab4 19 Jan 2019 21:04:28 8,818 posts
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    Cunts with car bombs back in Northern Ireland.
  • Psychotext 19 Jan 2019 22:39:43 64,971 posts
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    Yeah... we really don't need that shit again. =/
  • Mola_Ram 19 Jan 2019 23:17:47 20,096 posts
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    Is it the same people as before? Sinn Fein/IRA splinter groups? I don't really know much about the recent history, would appreciate some sort of primer.
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