Hate Jeremy Kyle? Step Right On In... Page 2

  • Your-Mother 13 May 2019 16:17:27 2,881 posts
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    Nah, the general scientific consensus is that they’re absolute crap. There’s no way a lie detector can differentiate between the physiological results of nervousness vs lying, and the very nature of taking a polygraph test is enough for most people to exhibit anxiety. The primary purpose nowadays is to invoke a confession by the fear of being caught. It’s basically a theatrical version of “I bet your mum knows, shall we go ask her?”
  • nickthegun 13 May 2019 16:21:43 78,293 posts
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    Kyle doesn't do it himself, live on stage!
  • nickthegun 13 May 2019 16:22:29 78,293 posts
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    I stand firm on the butthole point.
  • Vortex808 13 May 2019 16:39:49 13,268 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    I stand firm on the butthole point.
    Whereas a liar's butthole would be a clenching/unclenching quivering mess.

    Hmm, maybe there's something in this.

    /to the patent office...
  • mothercruncher 13 May 2019 16:46:47 16,384 posts
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    Very much me too.

    /arseman.
  • Graxlar_v3 13 May 2019 16:47:58 7,253 posts
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    Surely you just eat a super hot curry or a kilo of baked beans before hand.
  • retro74 13 May 2019 18:41:25 2,858 posts
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    Just exactly how do they measure if the butthole clenches or not?
  • Load_2.0 13 May 2019 18:43:23 29,625 posts
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    Mustard ensures a pass every time.
  • TechnoHippy 13 May 2019 19:55:48 15,275 posts
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    Load_2.0 wrote:
    Mustard ensures a pass every time.
    In my experience it usually means you don't get a second date.
  • fontgeeksogood 14 May 2019 00:45:04 6,519 posts
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    I did a charity golf day a couple of years ago and Jeremy Kyle was there desperately looking for people to recognise him. I did not give him the satisfaction of knowing
  • nickthegun 14 May 2019 07:20:15 78,293 posts
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    Was he licking his balls?*

    *Ocd joke
  • Dave_McCoy 14 May 2019 12:52:52 3,135 posts
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    @fontgeeksogood Did he smell of TCP? Apparently he does... And is a hardcore gambler.

    Oh, and a c**t
  • AboutHalfaStevas 14 May 2019 13:20:01 1,781 posts
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    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    I did a charity golf day a couple of years ago and Jeremy Kyle was there desperately looking for people to recognise him. I did not give him the satisfaction of knowing
    You should have recognised him, but with "wait, I know you, you were on that show! The one hosted by that utter cunt, right? What did you do again, fuck your mum, sister, or both? By the way, is he that much of a cunt off air?"
  • JamboWayOh 15 May 2019 10:30:33 14,150 posts
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    Aaaaaaaaaand it's been cancelled.
  • Frogofdoom 15 May 2019 10:33:40 13,655 posts
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    He will be top entertainment on I'm a celeb though.
  • THFourteen 15 May 2019 10:37:50 52,549 posts
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    No point taking a day off work to watch daytime telly anymore then.
  • SolidSCB 15 May 2019 10:39:26 11,325 posts
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    Some other edgy as fuck channel will pick him up. He'll be on 5 by the end of the year.
  • JamboWayOh 15 May 2019 10:39:28 14,150 posts
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    THFourteen wrote:
    No point taking a day off work to watch daytime telly anymore then.
    Unless you're unemployed of course.
  • You-can-call-me-kal 15 May 2019 10:48:18 16,324 posts
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    Seems a bit odd that Kyle himself seems to be taking the backlash rather than ITV.
  • nudistpete 15 May 2019 10:51:57 808 posts
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    BBC news says ITV will continue to work with him on other projects.

    F for the Jezza Kyle Show.
  • DUFFMAN5 15 May 2019 10:52:57 24,777 posts
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    Awful programme, awful presenter...just awful.
  • freddymercurystwin 15 May 2019 10:55:51 1,694 posts
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    The programme will probably be repackaged and start again under a new name ....
  • DUFFMAN5 15 May 2019 10:58:32 24,777 posts
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    freddymercurystwin wrote:
    The programme will probably be repackaged and start again under a new name ....
    The dole scum/meth head show. Too on the nose ?
  • SolidSCB 15 May 2019 11:00:13 11,325 posts
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    Jeremy Kyle presents: That's the Tooth

    Guests get a new crown or dental implant for every lie detector question they pass on the show.
  • challenge_hanukkah 15 May 2019 11:02:32 11,025 posts
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    Brushing With Jezza

    And

    How to Avoid Tooth Loss By Actually Eating Fucking Vegetables
  • Kay 15 May 2019 11:06:42 20,087 posts
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    You-can-call-me-kal wrote:
    Seems a bit odd that Kyle himself seems to be taking the backlash rather than ITV.
    Well, his name was in the title of the show...
  • nickthegun 15 May 2019 11:14:55 78,293 posts
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    He was, by all accounts, responsible for the direction of the program up to and including multiple policies to ensure the guests look as bad as possible, so it is fair to take aim at him.

    But, yeah, ITV are equally as culpable with turning a blind eye to his antics. It just doesnt make as good copy.
  • Psiloc 15 May 2019 11:15:56 5,114 posts
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    Former show runner

    It never even occurred to me that they would get the guests to change into those shitty clothes. I actually distinctly remember Jezza saying "nice tracksuit" to one particular chav to a chorus of cheers from the pondlife in the audience
  • SolidSCB 15 May 2019 11:19:15 11,325 posts
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    When I was in college, a few of us constructed the most badly written, barely believable email to the show and left an unsuspecting friend's phone number, not really believing anything would come of it.

    Turns out his phone ended up ringing off the hook for the better part of a week from a producer chasing him for a meeting. Their vetting process basically consists of finding the thickest and most vulnerable people and preying on them. Good riddance.
  • SolidSCB 15 May 2019 11:20:45 11,325 posts
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    A few people I used to know from high school went on a few years back. They basically give them a free bar and encourage them to shit stir in the hotel lobby the night before so they are fuming when the cameras start rolling.
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