'Random happy stuff that don't warrant their own threads' thread. Page 39

  • Mola_Ram 17 Jul 2021 06:45:55 26,052 posts
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    I got a promotion at work, and extra hours! So now I don't have to do 2 jobs to keep paying the mortgage. \o/

    It's also nice to actually have "librarian" in the job title now; only took 5 years!
  • challenge_hanukkah 17 Jul 2021 06:46:49 14,313 posts
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    Mola_Ram wrote:
    I got a promotion at work, and extra hours! So now I don't have to do 2 jobs to keep paying the mortgage. \o/

    It's also nice to actually have "librarian" in the job title now; only took 5 years!
    Congratulations!

    Wanna fuck?
  • Dougs 17 Jul 2021 07:02:24 100,274 posts
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    Yay, congrats! On the promotion, not the fucking
  • Mola_Ram 17 Jul 2021 07:08:10 26,052 posts
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    Yeah, it was a relief to be able to stop the prostitution. Valuable experience though!
  • Decks 17 Jul 2021 07:10:52 30,855 posts
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    Do you get a cool armour and a broadsword?
  • Dougs 17 Jul 2021 07:40:49 100,274 posts
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    Do you get given your own shush-er

    Edited by Dougs at 07:41:28 17-07-2021
  • challenge_hanukkah 17 Jul 2021 07:43:47 14,313 posts
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    Do you get to mentor Sarah Michelle Uri Geller now?
  • Frogofdoom 17 Jul 2021 08:08:10 17,851 posts
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    Are you an orangutan?
  • challenge_hanukkah 17 Jul 2021 09:05:49 14,313 posts
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    Did you get the number of that donkey cart?
  • Mola_Ram 17 Jul 2021 09:07:02 26,052 posts
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    Frogofdoom wrote:
    Are you an orangutan?
    The sexiest orangutan you will ever know.
  • Trafford 17 Jul 2021 09:16:59 9,333 posts
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    Hey great news on the promotion. I'm banging a librarian, they're very sexy.
  • Frogofdoom 17 Jul 2021 09:21:33 17,851 posts
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    Maybe it's Mola?
  • Trafford 17 Jul 2021 09:31:00 9,333 posts
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    That would be a turn up for the books.
  • Rodimus-Prime 18 Jul 2021 11:47:05 496 posts
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    I as well have recent cause for happiness. I either got fired or quit my job about 2 months ago (the line gets blurred at some point over a thirty minute argument with your boss) and i really didn't have much of a plan.

    I am a qualified and practicing private investigator, but because i like doing things like eating, i've been supplementing this with a slew of crappy entry-level office jobs.

    As i think back, it hasn't been all bad. When i worked for a fire safety company, i once took a phone call from someone at Rockstar games who wanted to arrange a fire extinguisher inspection/certification at their London office. And no fewer than three women have fallen in love with me over the course of my office bitch career.

    I suppose for such a small cog, i've always cast an enormous shadow, which is how i tend to amass so much power and influence in an office environment. Though not so much that i can get away with calling my boss 'legitimately the most stupid person i've ever met'.

    Anyway, it was like jumping overboard a perfectly sea-worthy ship, only to land in a safety raft that had been inflated too much and get bounced straight to the moon, as i will now get to put my skills, skills that took me 18 months to learn via a now defunct Learn Direct web course, to use in an actual salaried position that represents a 70 percent increase in wages.

    I'm pretty excited. I've started putting together my work wardrobe, and am approaching it like Cole Phelps. Giving each outfit a cool name, and even if they won't confer any special abilities, i'm going to pretend they do.

    I'm currently putting the finishing touches on 'Corduroy Couture', which i imagine will make more trustworthy with the working classes.
  • Psychotext 18 Jul 2021 13:24:08 70,571 posts
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    I... uhh...
  • Rogueywon 18 Jul 2021 13:38:00 12,260 posts
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    Yeah
  • dfunked09 18 Jul 2021 13:38:19 2,255 posts
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    I wanted to rock the cords look, but knew I'd get the piss ripped out of me in work... Been WFH throughout lockdown and still haven't braved them.
  • Rogueywon 18 Jul 2021 13:44:15 12,260 posts
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    Rodimus-Prime wrote:
    I as well have recent cause for happiness. I definitely got fired for having a weird meltdown at my boss and i really didn't have much of a plan.

    I am a qualified and practicing stalker, but because i like doing things like wanking in the bushes at the bottom of an ex-Spice Girl's garden, i've been supplementing this with a slew of crappy entry-level office jobs.

    As i think back, it hasn't been all bad. When i worked for a fire safety company, i once took a phone call from someone at a criminal law practice who wanted to take out a restraining order. And no fewer than three women have reported me to the police over the course of my office bitch career.

    I suppose for such a small cog, i've always cast an enormous shadow, which is down to the enormous unflushed turds I leave in the office toilet. Though not so much that i can get away with calling my boss 'mistress spanky'.

    Anyway, it was like jumping overboard a perfectly sea-worthy ship, only to land in a safety raft that had been inflated too much and get bounced straight to a police watch-list, as i will now get to put my skills, skills that took me 18 months to learn via my prison cell-mate, to use in an actual stalking roll that gets me lots of positive comments on 4chan.

    I'm pretty excited. I've started putting together my basement sex dungeon, and am approaching it like Fred West. Giving each outfit a crotchless cut-out, and even if they won't confer any special abilities, I'm going to let it all hang out.

    I'm currently putting the finishing touches on 'Hockey Mask Couture', which i imagine will make me even more terrifying-as-fuck.
    Fixed a few typos.

    Edited by Rogueywon at 13:51:14 18-07-2021
  • mothercruncher 18 Jul 2021 13:54:07 19,416 posts
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    WHAT IS GOING ON
  • sport 18 Jul 2021 13:58:55 17,031 posts
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    Beautiful
  • Rodimus-Prime 18 Jul 2021 14:07:53 496 posts
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    dfunked09 wrote:
    I wanted to rock the cords look, but knew I'd get the piss ripped out of me in work... Been WFH throughout lockdown and still haven't braved them.
    If you want to wear cords, you should just wear cords.

    I suppose the material has a bit of a reputation for being, i don't know, fusty, but my girlfriend has a smashing little dungaree-type dress in pale green corduroy. It really opened my eyes to the fabric and the potential modern styles in which it can be applied.

    Truth be told, i'm a little more worried about the 'Dick Tracey' in so far as being made fun of. Banana yellow doesn't really work unless it's an actual zoot suit. I'll probably not wear hat one.
  • LegendaryApe 18 Jul 2021 14:30:37 2,478 posts
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    Still convinced this is a Decks sock.
  • JamboWayOh 18 Jul 2021 14:32:43 24,972 posts
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    Yeah, I've been thinking that for a while. It's keeps me amused whoever it is.
  • Jono62 18 Jul 2021 14:34:27 27,230 posts
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    Now that you have free time, it's a perfect time to go mountaineering in Scotland.
  • JamboWayOh 18 Jul 2021 14:35:33 24,972 posts
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    Brokeback Buckfast
  • richarddavies 18 Jul 2021 14:39:48 8,293 posts
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    Rodimus-Prime wrote:

    I suppose for such a small cog, i've always cast an enormous shadow, which is how i tend to amass so much power and influence in an office environment. Though not so much that i can get away with calling my boss 'legitimately the most stupid person i've ever met'.
    That's my favourite bit. Just tickled me. In between your detective work do you also date Cynthia Rothrock?
  • Rogueywon 18 Jul 2021 14:44:52 12,260 posts
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    This is SpaceMonkey, right?
  • Carlo 18 Jul 2021 14:49:51 21,793 posts
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    @Rodimus-Prime what flavour crack are you smoking?
  • Rodimus-Prime 18 Jul 2021 15:18:41 496 posts
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    Okay, fine, you got me. I am a sock puppet account.

    I registered on Eurogamer eight years ago and made 1,000 comments on various articles and features and reviews, just to set up a comment today about being a little bit happy about having bettered my life.

    Except obviously i'm not. It makes no sense. I'm just a guy who happens to like playing computer games.

    And i'm more than willing to prove it. If anyone doubts that i am a real boy, i'd be more than willing to play you on Overcooked All You Can Eat. You grab a partner, and i'll grab a partner, and i will fuck you up.

    Look, i've been grappling with the idea for about 8 years now, that maybe i'm something of a loser in a professional capacity. My work life has never been where i want it to be, and even if i do become a vital part of every office i've ever worked in, it's only because i'm tremendously smart. My employers pick up on this and give me extra responsibilities, but never any of the perks that go with it. No promotions, no pay rises, no anything.

    Just a stack of rubbish assignments and a gaggle of office women to politely turn down.

    So please, pardon me about being a little bit excited about having finally dragged myself out of the muck and embarking on a better future. I feel like a character from one of those Mafia City adverts on Facebook who has just gone from a level 1 goon to a level 100 don.
  • addybV3 18 Jul 2021 15:39:48 363 posts
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    Rodimus-Prime wrote:
    I feel like a character from one of those Mafia City adverts on Facebook who has just gone from a level 1 dickhead to a level 100 cunt.
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