A list of things I have stuck my cock in

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  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 03:44:43 3,904 posts
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    It's approaching the dead hour and the EG forum is quiet. What better time to exorcise the ghosts of past tom-cockery.

    A watermelon
    Banana skins
    Women
    A Sandcastle
    Milk bottles
    Socks - my socks, other peoples socks, socks left on washing lines (hehe)
    A clamp
    An orange
    Bunch of grapes
    Paprika
    A snowman/woman/thing
    A car exhaust
    Bog Roll tubes (painful)
    A cassette tape - (one of the holes, only just, when very limp indeed, honest, in order to demonstrate a novel way of rewinding. Almost a hospital job that)
    Various jars and containers of the type you'd find under the kitchen sink.
    A fluffy bunny/teddy bear
    Blow-up doll (of course)
    Polystyrene hole
    Plastic bags
    Hose pipe
    A tap (ouch)
    A hedge (ouch)
    Pot of swarfega
    Pot of cream
    A book
    Hats
    Hoover pipe (sanity returned before hitting the on switch)
    Cushions
    Two steaks
    A bag of compost
    Doughnuts
    Knickers, bras, tights, stockings etc.

    I reckon I could add the same again if I thought long enough. Most of the above achieved before the age of 16.
  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 03:45:34 3,904 posts
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    Oh gosh - I just remember spanners and a socket set. Dear oh dear.
  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 03:53:57 3,904 posts
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    The loaf of Bread. Good one that.
    Cheese - the horrible sliced stuff, but also an Edam.
  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 03:55:33 3,904 posts
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    Oh god - a letterbox. Another terrible mistake.
  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 04:00:03 3,904 posts
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    Rolled up magazines and newspapers. Especially magazines.

    4am. Enough.
  • Login-Industry 18 Sep 2007 04:34:56 271 posts
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    I like how he put bananaskins and watermelon BEFORE he put women.

    /freudian
  • DaM 18 Sep 2007 08:39:31 17,323 posts
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    Oh...

    Can anyone recommend a new forum for Carrybagma when he sobers up this morning and realises.....?

    Come back in a year or two, it will have been forgotten...maybe...
  • Aretak 18 Sep 2007 08:56:38 10,391 posts
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    DaM wrote:
    Can anyone recommend a new forum for Carrybagma when he sobers up this morning and realises.....?
    From the sound of it, /b/ would be appropriate.
  • ScoutTech 18 Sep 2007 08:57:02 2,428 posts
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    a least it wasn't one of those dust devils/handheld jobbies. Blades are far to close to the entrance for anyones safety!
  • Pike 18 Sep 2007 08:58:54 13,458 posts
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    Registered 16 years ago
    Post deleted
  • smoothpete 18 Sep 2007 09:32:18 35,755 posts
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    Registered 15 years ago
    Carrybagma wrote:
    It's approaching the dead hour and the EG forum is quiet. What better time to exorcise the ghosts of past tom-cockery.

    A watermelon
    Banana skins
    Women
    A Sandcastle
    Milk bottles
    Socks - my socks, other peoples socks, socks left on washing lines (hehe)
    A clamp
    An orange
    Bunch of grapes
    Paprika
    A snowman/woman/thing
    A car exhaust
    Bog Roll tubes (painful)
    A cassette tape - (one of the holes, only just, when very limp indeed, honest, in order to demonstrate a novel way of rewinding. Almost a hospital job that)
    Various jars and containers of the type you'd find under the kitchen sink.
    A fluffy bunny/teddy bear
    Blow-up doll (of course)
    Polystyrene hole
    Plastic bags
    Hose pipe
    A tap (ouch)
    A hedge (ouch)
    Pot of swarfega
    Pot of cream
    A book
    Hats
    Hoover pipe (sanity returned before hitting the on switch)
    Cushions
    Two steaks
    A bag of compost
    Doughnuts
    Knickers, bras, tights, stockings etc.

    I reckon I could add the same again if I thought long enough. Most of the above achieved before the age of 16.





    Quoted for forum history! Thou shalt not delete!
  • speedofthepuma 18 Sep 2007 09:34:48 13,425 posts
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    10 pages.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 18 Sep 2007 09:35:08 32,224 posts
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    Registered 15 years ago
    Swarfega?!

    Christ, getting that stuck up 'it'....ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!

    /crosses legs
  • smoothpete 18 Sep 2007 09:37:36 35,755 posts
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    I can't decide what I find more amusing, sandcastle or bag of compost :D
  • morriss 18 Sep 2007 09:38:26 71,293 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    I can't decide what I find more amusing, sandcastle or bag of compost :D

    :D
  • TechnoHippy 18 Sep 2007 09:41:39 15,001 posts
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    A cassette tape?! At what point did he think that would be a good idea...
  • sugapunk 18 Sep 2007 09:54:41 220 posts
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    Registered 12 years ago
    No hamster's mouth on that list?
  • Stickman 18 Sep 2007 10:11:39 29,986 posts
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    Carrybagma wrote:
    A cassette tape - (one of the holes, only just, when very limp indeed, honest, in order to demonstrate a novel way of rewinding. Almost a hospital job that)

    You really, really shouldn't have typed this. I don't care how limp it was, that's smaller than my pinkie finger.

    Other than that, good list. Now whenever I see the name 'Carrybagma', I'll always swap it for 'rapist'.
  • semprini 18 Sep 2007 10:12:26 3,144 posts
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    Registered 16 years ago
    Carrybagma wrote:
    A cassette tape - (one of the holes, only just, when very limp indeed, honest, in order to demonstrate a novel way of rewinding. Almost a hospital job that)
    Hose pipe
    A tap (ouch)

    And the award for the world's smallest cock goes to...
  • Stickman 18 Sep 2007 10:16:31 29,986 posts
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    Registered 15 years ago
    No, just you.
  • evilashchris 18 Sep 2007 10:17:48 7,743 posts
    Seen 2 days ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Maybe he just pulled the foreskin through the casette hole using some kind of hooked implement.

    At least, thats how i'd do it.

    Well, if i was fucked in the head :D

    Fluffy would fuck a buttercup ghost!
  • Stickman 18 Sep 2007 10:20:54 29,986 posts
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    FluffyTucker wrote:
    I didn't say it, I asked if anyone else had said it. That makes me innocent.

    Kate?
  • StarchildHypocrethes 18 Sep 2007 10:23:56 32,224 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    Carrybagma wrote:
    It's approaching the dead hour and the EG forum is quiet. What better time to exorcise the ghosts of past tom-cockery.

    A watermelon
    Banana skins
    Women
    A Sandcastle
    [u]M[/u]ilk bottles
    Socks - my socks, other peoples socks, socks left on washing lines (hehe)
    A cl[u]a[/u]mp
    An orange
    Bunch of grapes
    Paprika
    A snowman/woman/thing
    A car exhaust
    Bog Roll tubes (painful)
    A cassette tape - (one of the holes, only just, when very limp in[u]d[/u]eed, honest, in order to [u]d[/u]emonstrate a novel way of rewinding. Almost a hospital job that)
    Var[u]i[/u]ous jars and containers of the type you'd find under the kitchen sink.
    A fluffy bunny/teddy bear
    Blow-up doll (of course)
    Polystyr[u]e[/u]ne hole
    Plastic bags
    Hose pipe
    A tap (ouch)
    A hedge (ouch)
    Pot of swarfega
    Pot of cream
    A book
    Hats
    Hoover pipe (sanity returned before hitting the on switch)
    Cushions
    Two steaks
    A bag of compost
    Doughnuts
    Knickers, bras, tights, stockings etc.
    :o

    It's there if you if you read into the sick twisted code he uses!
  • nickthegun 18 Sep 2007 10:23:57 77,799 posts
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    Registered 13 years ago
    Cassette tape? Im no John Holmes but, jesus....I dont think that would have been possible since...well...I was born....

    /in my head, your new user name shall be 'thindick'
  • DaM 18 Sep 2007 10:41:15 17,323 posts
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    Registered 17 years ago
    nickthegun wrote:
    Cassette tape? Im no John Holmes but, jesus....I dont think that would have been possible since...well...I was born....

    /in my head, your new user name shall be 'thindick'

    Could a mod make this change please?
  • Deleted user 18 September 2007 11:16:46
    One extra small Fleshlight on order methinks.
  • smoothpete 18 Sep 2007 11:21:35 35,755 posts
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    Flesh-maglight-solitaire methinks
  • S.J.Rogers 18 Sep 2007 11:51:32 3,593 posts
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    Carrybagma may have his own strange website...

    But i am too scared to look..!!!
  • keyboardmonkey 18 Sep 2007 12:00:30 409 posts
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    Registered 12 years ago
    Thank god i don't share a house with you. Are you a bit of a Keith Lard? Only you haven't found the right type of love yet.
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