A list of things I have stuck my cock in Page 2

  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 12:01:57 3,904 posts
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    Oh well. Damage done.

    :o(
  • StarchildHypocrethes 18 Sep 2007 12:02:40 32,224 posts
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    \o/

    Afternoon :D
  • keyboardmonkey 18 Sep 2007 12:05:14 409 posts
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    Woman
    Is in the list, but dare i ask. Dead or alive ?

    Willing or victim ?
  • The-Old-Bill 18 Sep 2007 12:06:44 5,101 posts
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    keyboardmonkey wrote:
    Thank god i don't share a house with you. Are you a bit of a Keith Lard? Only you haven't found the right type of love yet.
    Heh, I'd be worried I'd wake up one morning to add he'd added 'man' to his list.
  • keyboardmonkey 18 Sep 2007 12:09:00 409 posts
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    Are you the lad the butcher had to let go for putting his dick in the bacon slicer ?
  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 12:10:56 3,904 posts
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    The cassette tape one. Quite possible when you're 13, determined and probably mad. The idea was to rewind the tape with 'no hands' rather than get the horn. Getting it off again was the problem.

    Imagine being caught by your mother with your pecker-head poked through a cassette tape? What an idiot. It would have been off to the quack for sure.
  • sam_spade 18 Sep 2007 12:13:16 15,744 posts
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    What he isn't telling you, is he misunderstood dictaphone.
  • Whizzo 18 Sep 2007 12:14:14 44,793 posts
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    /throws drumkit downstairs
  • DarmokJalad 18 Sep 2007 12:15:55 63,689 posts
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    /dodges drum kit

    /runs up stairs
  • DarmokJalad 18 Sep 2007 12:15:56 63,689 posts
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    /adds whizzo to list
  • keyboardmonkey 18 Sep 2007 12:20:32 409 posts
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    The Cassette Tape it wasn't in the local library in front of the librarian. Seeing as they don't allow tapes to be returned until they are fully rewound.
  • nickthegun 18 Sep 2007 12:23:35 77,799 posts
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    In slight mitigation, I used to know a guy called DANIEL OTTER who put his cock in a wine bottle, got a boner and had to be taken to hospital when her couldnt get it out again.
  • silentbob 18 Sep 2007 12:27:55 29,510 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    In slight mitigation, I used to know a guy called DANIEL OTTER who put his cock in a wine bottle, got a boner and had to be taken to hospital when her couldnt get it out again.
    I think the embarassment of being able to get it in flaccid overrides the resulting emergency callout.

    COCKTAILSAUSAGE!
  • keyboardmonkey 18 Sep 2007 12:33:41 409 posts
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    There would Claret all over the place
  • nickthegun 18 Sep 2007 12:37:04 77,799 posts
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    The 'Had to be taken to hospital' bit should have read 'had to be taken to hospital by his mum'.

    He did it at home and totally freaked out, started yelling and his mum burst it.

    Its basically the worst story you can imagine.
  • malteaserhead 18 Sep 2007 12:37:54 13,443 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    In slight mitigation, I used to know a guy called DANIEL OTTER who put his cock in a wine bottle, got a boner and had to be taken to hospital when her couldnt get it out again.

    A real-life Otter's-berries-incident
    /groans
  • tombo 18 Sep 2007 12:37:54 2,131 posts
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    keyboardmonkey wrote:
    There would Claret all over the place

    Frrthth-dum-dum
  • otto Moderator 18 Sep 2007 12:40:14 49,322 posts
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    Well now we know why he's called Carrybagma. o_O

    Full name Pencildick Carrybagma.
  • malteaserhead 18 Sep 2007 12:41:23 13,443 posts
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    ^^or at least how he gets his shopping home
    ;)
  • DarmokJalad 18 Sep 2007 12:43:39 63,689 posts
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    How on earth does one manage to fit ones cock inside the opening of wine bottle? o_O He must of had a really small winer. ;o)
  • DarmokJalad 18 Sep 2007 12:43:40 63,689 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Carrybagma 18 Sep 2007 12:50:39 3,904 posts
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    Hmm. Maybe the EG forum was the wrong place for such a post. Maybe I should have posted on netmums or bungie instead.
  • Whizzo 18 Sep 2007 12:51:18 44,793 posts
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    Or just kept it to yourself.
  • hoof 18 Sep 2007 12:52:55 823 posts
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    Whizzo wrote:
    Or just kept it to yourself.

    The thread, or his cock?
  • Whizzo 18 Sep 2007 12:53:25 44,793 posts
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    Both!
  • nickthegun 18 Sep 2007 12:55:13 77,799 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    How on earth does one manage to fit ones cock inside the opening of wine bottle? o_O He must of had a really small winer. ;o)

    Well he was a [COMMENT OBSCURED FOR LEGAL REASONS], so its not impossible.
  • keyboardmonkey 18 Sep 2007 12:55:55 409 posts
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    I am sure if you expanded on your sexual conquests a little bit. And remembered a couple more, you could write a best seller

    101 things to stick your cock in before you *die

    *or your cock gets to a normal size

    Christmas bestseller
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