Following Rate the last film you watched out of 100 Page 4366

  • MacReadysChessWizard 6 Apr 2021 10:02:45 85 posts
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    Run

    Sick child goes from loving her mum/carer to batshit crazy suspicious of absolutely everything she does in about 4 seconds.

    And then it gets shitter from there. It's almost as if a whole section of this had been excised which would have given justification of the child's near-instantaneous complete 180..but without it it's just fucking terrible.

    Oh, and it's always a good idea to reference far, far better material/authors in your dogshit film.

    0.3/100

    EDIT: Spoilers. But just trying to save you from wasting time.

    Edited by MacReadysChessWizard at 10:04:10 06-04-2021
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 10:02:51 86,026 posts
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    Why even post that? Its a review thread, he reviewed a movie he watched.
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 10:09:35 86,026 posts
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    Kung-Fu Hustle - Possibly the peak of the 2000s 'Kung Fu as Legitimate Cinema' fad. Its genuinely pretty funny and *pushes glasses up nose* if you are familiar with the genre, it pokes fun at a lot of the cliches quite nicely.

    8/10
  • Mola_Ram 6 Apr 2021 10:12:34 25,619 posts
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    From memory Kung Fu Hustle also had a lot of cameos from legends of the genre.

    Personally preferred Shaolin Soccer though. I feel like that one's been forgotten a bit.
  • JamboWayOh 6 Apr 2021 10:15:32 23,585 posts
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    Bambot wrote:
    Daddy-Doom-Bar wrote:
    Godzilla Vs Kong.

    I thought this was supposed to be good? Utter gash. The 10 minutes or so through the film where they go at it are good, but every single second of the rest is garbage. All the human stuff could be edited out and it would make zero difference to the plot. Maybe the little girl stuff could stay, but literally everything else could be removed. The plot is nonsensical and devoid of any kind of logic or reasoning.
    The wife said "Well you don't expect Shakespeare with this sort of film, do you?"
    No, I don't. And maybe that's the problem. If no one expects the plot to be logical or humans to act like actual humans really do, then why bother?
    I just wouldn't mind if they put the smallest amount of effort into the plot.
    I also think that not seeing it in the cinema has an impact as well. I can imagine the monster fights being way more exciting on the big screen. But that still won't help the other 80% of the film being shit.

    A generous 3/10
    Review can be pretty easily ignored. Might as well have ordered a McDonalds delivery and complained that it arrived cold, the bun was soggy, the chips were limp, there wasn't any silver cutlery, the table service was non-existent, there wasn't even a wine menu.
    Why should the review be ignored, you can still have a McDonald's and comment on whether it's tasty in the sphere of fast food or a fucking abomination in the name of food.
  • Bambot 6 Apr 2021 10:23:09 2,050 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    Bambot wrote:
    Daddy-Doom-Bar wrote:
    Godzilla Vs Kong.

    I thought this was supposed to be good? Utter gash. The 10 minutes or so through the film where they go at it are good, but every single second of the rest is garbage. All the human stuff could be edited out and it would make zero difference to the plot. Maybe the little girl stuff could stay, but literally everything else could be removed. The plot is nonsensical and devoid of any kind of logic or reasoning.
    The wife said "Well you don't expect Shakespeare with this sort of film, do you?"
    No, I don't. And maybe that's the problem. If no one expects the plot to be logical or humans to act like actual humans really do, then why bother?
    I just wouldn't mind if they put the smallest amount of effort into the plot.
    I also think that not seeing it in the cinema has an impact as well. I can imagine the monster fights being way more exciting on the big screen. But that still won't help the other 80% of the film being shit.

    A generous 3/10
    Review can be pretty easily ignored. Might as well have ordered a McDonalds delivery and complained that it arrived cold, the bun was soggy, the chips were limp, there wasn't any silver cutlery, the table service was non-existent, there wasn't even a wine menu.
    Why should the review be ignored, you can still have a McDonald's and comment on whether it's tasty in the sphere of fast food or a fucking abomination in the name of food.
    His wife clearly knows its not meant to be about the humans. He acknowledges that, then whines that the stuff about the humans is rubbish.

    It's. Not. Meant. To Be. About. The. Humans.

    I'm sure I've seen an interview with the director where it's acknowledged that he knows full well that nobody cares about the humans.
  • Daddy-Doom-Bar 6 Apr 2021 10:30:14 3,013 posts
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    @Bambot I'll take that as a 'I don't care about a film making sense so long as it goes boom boom' response.
  • Bambot 6 Apr 2021 10:32:21 2,050 posts
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    Daddy-Doom-Bar wrote:
    @Bambot I'll take that as a 'I don't care about a film making sense so long as it goes boom boom' response.
    Of course you will.

    Again, missing the point.

    This film is LITERALLY made to enjoy the things going boom boom.

    Why bother to waste your time 'reviewing' it on the basis of *anything* else?

    If the actual things going boom boom aren't going boom boom very compellingly, or enjoyably, now we're talking. For example, I understand the last Bayformers film was an absolute disaster on every level, including the things that go boom boom.

    Edited by Bambot at 10:33:45 06-04-2021
  • Daddy-Doom-Bar 6 Apr 2021 10:32:40 3,013 posts
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    @Bambot Then why put them in? Why waste 60% of a films runtime with stuff they know no-one cares about? I'm all for watching and enjoying a film about big monsters mashing the shit out of each other, but FFS it would be nice if it made some sort of sense.
  • Bambot 6 Apr 2021 10:34:38 2,050 posts
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    Daddy-Doom-Bar wrote:
    @Bambot Then why put them in? Why waste 60% of a films runtime with stuff they know no-one cares about? I'm all for watching and enjoying a film about big monsters mashing the shit out of each other, but FFS it would be nice if it made some sort of sense.
    Tradition? Necessity?
  • JamboWayOh 6 Apr 2021 10:35:20 23,585 posts
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    @Bambot

    If that's the case why are the humans even there. If they have to be there why does their inclusion have to be bafflingly shit, because for the record their inclusion is bafflingly shit. I don't think anyone has said it has to be about the humans, the argument is if they have to be there then at least try applying a modicum of effort.
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 10:37:53 86,026 posts
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    Its worth talking about because if your film revolves around aliens or monsters punching each other, you need some humans to tie the action together.

    Fwiw, I thought this movie did it better than most other ones. They largely left the monsters to it and just had people appear every so often to provide the next exposition point because the monsters cant talk. It was much, much, much better than the last godzilla movie that revolved around the worst, most boring family in human history.
  • sirtacos 6 Apr 2021 10:38:50 8,279 posts
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    Well if he's complaining about the human bits being shit, then maybe part of the problem is how much screen-time is devoted to these, which you yourself have admitted are peripheral at best, or less charitably, completely irrelevant.
    His criticisms sounded fine; your aggressive response was unwarranted. There are better albeit less entertaining ways to disagree.
  • freddymercurystwin 6 Apr 2021 10:40:19 2,554 posts
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    The Mule, (Netflix UK) Clint Eastwood is looking so elderly/decrepit these days, it genuinely took me aback and about a quarter of an hour to get past seeing a heroic action movie figure and star of so many childhood film memories looking so frail. Anyway once past that it poodled along quite swiftly. He plays a divorcee stuck in his ways who's always put his work etc first, before his family so, to keep the bailiffs from the door he inadvertently becomes a drug mule for some Mexican drug cartel and becomes their star driver, seeing as he's some innocent looking old duffer, slowly doing bigger and bigger drops as the cartel get increasingly unpleasant and the DEA also start sniffing around, A few silly, unnecessary bits here and there but nothing unusual there but worth a watch. Based on a true story apparently. 6.5/10

    Edited by freddymercurystwin at 10:41:57 06-04-2021
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 10:40:35 86,026 posts
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    Mola_Ram wrote:
    I feel like that one's been forgotten a bit.
    The bit at the start when he bursts the ball and shouts 'NO MORE SOCCER' at the kids is pretty funny.
  • JamboWayOh 6 Apr 2021 10:43:29 23,585 posts
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    I found it interesting how the other films had some sort of grounding, if that's possible, but this went fuck it. Hollow earth, super science tech because, using a skull to control a machine because. I suppose you could see it as a plus or a big WTF.
  • Daddy-Doom-Bar 6 Apr 2021 10:51:53 3,013 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    I found it interesting how the other films had some sort of grounding, if that's possible, but this went fuck it. Hollow earth, super science tech because, using a skull to control a machine because. I suppose you could see it as a plus or a big WTF.
    This was another big problem for me. The first Godzilla was attempting to be pretty realistic for a monster film. All the action was from mostly a human perspective with everything pretty grounded. Kong was a little less so, but even King of the Monsters was a little more reserved. This one was as you said - fuck it all, just go for it.

    I think that others guys response to my objective review is why we can't have decent, thought out monster films. There's no reason why they can't make sense and still go boom boom. They don't need to be complicated, plot twist filled deep dives on the complexities of humanities relationship with its mother planet, but FFS at least make some effort to make a modicum of sense.
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 11:01:34 86,026 posts
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    Ultimately, I think Gareth Edwards Godzilla is as good as youre going to get on that front. You do need a human element in these stories and I think he got as close as you can to it working but youre never going to please everyone.

    I know Shin Godzilla is held up as the thinking mans monster movie but as clever as the social commentary is, its still hours of people arguing in an office interspersed with a few scenes of godzilla smashing things.
  • Not-a-reviewer 6 Apr 2021 11:06:49 7,268 posts
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    The human part of these things is usually supposed to be to make you care about whatís going on a little bit. An action film about just the explosions or just two giants things punching each other is incredibly boring and it might as ell just be some random 3D animations someoneís made.

    The human part doesnít have to be Shakespeare but it should be coherent, basic and fairly interesting/melodramatic but competent. See just about any good/popular action film from 10 years+ ago that anyone remembers vs something that did it badly that no one can remember.
  • Not-a-reviewer 6 Apr 2021 11:07:35 7,268 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    Ultimately, I think Gareth Edwards Godzilla is as good as youre going to get on that front. You do need a human element in these stories and I think he got as close as you can to it working but youre never going to please everyone.

    I know Shin Godzilla is held up as the thinking mans monster movie but as clever as the social commentary is, its still hours of people arguing in an office interspersed with a few scenes of godzilla smashing things.
    His just made the mistake of army man being an annoying shit and killing off Walter White way too early.
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 11:12:30 86,026 posts
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    Yeah, it 'suberted expectations' but it did allow for some pretty spectacular army scenes. It did a really good job of showing how small everything is compared to a godzilla which, if youre going to go heavy on the people, is probably the right way to do it.
  • Not-a-reviewer 6 Apr 2021 11:16:56 7,268 posts
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    All these monster films look so much better when they put the camera at the level of the people, the action looks better and it makes the monsters look suitably huge. Pacific Rim and that Godzilla did it, a few others have as well. When you bring it up to being a floating camera at their scale it feels like a video game cutscene.
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 11:22:41 86,026 posts
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    Directorial skill certainly helps, which I think is probably why Edwards is probably the best, narowly edging out Kong: Skull Island which I actually quite liked.

    You can see it the most in Pacific Rim. For all its faults, the first one is still absolutely beautiful. The second, which really is 'just let them punch each other' is an ugly, artless void.
  • Gruff 6 Apr 2021 12:34:25 3,804 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    Kung-Fu Hustle - Possibly the peak of the 2000s 'Kung Fu as Legitimate Cinema' fad. Its genuinely pretty funny and *pushes glasses up nose* if you are familiar with the genre, it pokes fun at a lot of the cliches quite nicely.

    8/10
    If you liked that you will probably like The Thousand Faces of Dunjia not as madcap or zany, it starts out a bit rough, but it really gave me the similar vibe of those films by the end, It's on Netflix
  • chopsen 6 Apr 2021 13:02:15 21,840 posts
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    My problem with GvK is that there is (what felt like) about 30 minutes of expositional dialogue and justification for what happens, but then what happens makes no logical sense or follows on from all the exposition anyway.

    It also had 2 human storylines, where only 1 actually matters.
  • robthehermit 6 Apr 2021 13:10:42 8,331 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    Kung-Fu Hustle - Possibly the peak of the 2000s 'Kung Fu as Legitimate Cinema' fad. Its genuinely pretty funny and *pushes glasses up nose* if you are familiar with the genre, it pokes fun at a lot of the cliches quite nicely.

    8/10
    Which is better: Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer or the legendary Kung Pow: Enter the Fist?
  • nickthegun 6 Apr 2021 13:18:57 86,026 posts
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    Gruff wrote:
    If you liked that you will probably like The Thousand Faces of Dunjia not as madcap or zany, it starts out a bit rough, but it really gave me the similar vibe of those films by the end, It's on Netflix
    Cheers, will check that out
  • Your-Mother 6 Apr 2021 14:44:03 7,276 posts
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    Classic Godzilla (and King Kong) had human people in because both were making social commentary about something - Godzilla as a response to the nuclear age/Hiroshima, King Kong as a commentary on slavery and colonialism. Obviously that got diluted over the various sequels, but itís notable that this new Monsterverse doesnít really do anything resembling that, and thatís where the human element loses me. Thereís a small footnote in the credits of KotM about how Kaiju are healing the planet from the ravages of man, but thatís about as deep as it gets as far as subtext. Even Broderick Zilla tried to make a point about nuclear testing. But anyway, to reduce Kaiju movies down to ďbig things hitting each otherĒ is *also pushes glasses up nose* a remarkably ignorant hot take on the genre.
  • The_Colonel 6 Apr 2021 16:50:50 4 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    Bambot wrote:
    Daddy-Doom-Bar wrote:
    Godzilla Vs Kong.

    I thought this was supposed to be good? Utter gash. The 10 minutes or so through the film where they go at it are good, but every single second of the rest is garbage. All the human stuff could be edited out and it would make zero difference to the plot. Maybe the little girl stuff could stay, but literally everything else could be removed. The plot is nonsensical and devoid of any kind of logic or reasoning.
    The wife said "Well you don't expect Shakespeare with this sort of film, do you?"
    No, I don't. And maybe that's the problem. If no one expects the plot to be logical or humans to act like actual humans really do, then why bother?
    I just wouldn't mind if they put the smallest amount of effort into the plot.
    I also think that not seeing it in the cinema has an impact as well. I can imagine the monster fights being way more exciting on the big screen. But that still won't help the other 80% of the film being shit.

    A generous 3/10
    Review can be pretty easily ignored. Might as well have ordered a McDonalds delivery and complained that it arrived cold, the bun was soggy, the chips were limp, there wasn't any silver cutlery, the table service was non-existent, there wasn't even a wine menu.
    Why should the review be ignored, you can still have a McDonald's and comment on whether it's tasty in the sphere of fast food or a fucking abomination in the name of food.
    The colonel reckons Bambot tried posting a Zinger, but it ended up coming across as popcorn chicken.
    In plain alabama. The guy is a fat turkey fucker.
  • JoelStinty 6 Apr 2021 18:34:44 9,367 posts
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    The Equaliser 2

    Ok I guess. Started of brightly, then the last half was kinda meh, in a not good 90's action flick kinda way. Watchable though for Denzel and a couple of nicely put together action sequences.

    2.5/5
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